


What a Wonderful World

by deanbennylife (kams_log)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Bullying, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, M/M, Mild Angst, Nerd Dean, Protective Benny, Protective Dean, Shipper!Sam, Supportive Sam, story gets progressively better
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-11
Updated: 2015-04-20
Packaged: 2018-03-22 08:34:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 29,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3722227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kams_log/pseuds/deanbennylife
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean has a totally normal life. Well, as normal as it’ll ever get with an absent father, a dead mother, and a brother who depends on him to get by. Dean splits his time between school, work, and helping his brother out with school and trying to take care of his father whenever he comes around. He likes to think he has his life together. He’s not perfect and the situation could be better, but he has a handle on it and he’s come to peace with a future of always taking care of others. Until the transfer student Benny Lafitte shows up and catches his attention in a way Dean never expected. </p><p>Benny has just moved to Sioux Falls from Louisiana with his mother. Benny is a young man of few words, and because of it no one knows the struggle his family faces. It's for this reason Benny is hesitant to make any friendships. But one attractive and persistent Dean Winchester throws a wrench in his plans. In a way, they were both responsible for the other's unraveling. </p><p>With an unlikely friendship blooming, Dean and Benny start to discover that there’s more to life than just looking out for others, and that sometimes it’s okay to want something for yourself too. And sometimes what you need the most is someone who understands.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. What a Wonderful World

**Author's Note:**

> basically, i needed a very strong deanbenny fix and this was the best way i knew how to get it out of my system. deanbenny is beautiful, and so i wanted to write something beautiful. somehow this thing came out. 
> 
> this won't be a very long fic, but i expect there will be a few good chapter numbers... we'll see. i usually update on tuesdays, but because i'm wrapping up the end of my senior year of high school... things might get busy. i'm usually good about deadlines though, so usually expect an update on tuesdays! 
> 
> i hope you guys like this story. this first chapter is more of a prologue than anything else... but i do hope you enjoy it. okay, enough of my blabbing. here's the chapter!

Dean grinned and took a deep breath of fresh morning air. Fall was his favorite season. Not for school or for the joy of pumpkin spice lattes, but for the brisk air and changing colors of the world around him. It wasn’t like spring with new beginnings and bunny sex. It was the beginning of the end of struggling and hard ships. It was the mark where schedules and order came back into play. When Fall came back to the world, Dean didn’t have to worry about what he’d do the next day or what was coming around the corner. All he had to worry about was his new job, schoolwork, Sammy, and his Dad. Everything else took second place. And it was perfectly fine with him.

His long board flew across the pavement beneath his feet as he kept his eyes peeled for the new school. He wasn’t new here. Far from it. This was probably the only town Dean was most familiar with in the entire state.

Sioux Falls High was nice for a school. It was big, had a good population of students. Dean didn’t care too much for large crowds in cramped places. Maybe it was claustrophobia, but Dean tended to avoid most of his classmates if possible. The only people he liked were a few old friends from the last time he’d been in Sioux Falls two years ago. Charlie Bradbury was the first name that came to mind, as well as a kid named Kevin and another boy named Garth. They were all geeks and nerds in their own rights, a lot like Dean in his private way. They’d gotten along well in the past. He’d even texted Charlie before they moved back, and she’d demanded to be kept up to date with the details of his return.

Dean smiled at the thought of his old friend and sighed. He had a good feeling about this year.

The school came into sight and he shoved off at the ground, turning the board to ride up onto the sidewalk and past the parking lot.

It all looked the same as it did two years ago. The same wide grounds, the God awful yellow structure. None of it was different. Dean supposed it was natural anyway. A lot could change for one person. But things rarely changed for the rest of the world.

Dean shoved his hands in his coat pockets and pushed off again. He had a little brother and class schedules to get back to.

Sam was waiting for him back at the apartment. John had made some calls and rented it out before they came back in. Dean didn’t think much of it. It was from the lower side of town and Dean had to keep a wary eye of the strangers that bundled together on the street corners and stared at him in the halls of the building. Their first day back Dean had made a note to never let Sam walk those streets or halls alone.

“Hey bitch,” Dean said as greeting and threw the door open. Sam rolled his eyes and turned back to the buzzing television screen. The reception was awful and Dean could spot inconsistencies in the images. But Sam was watching intently, so Dean kept his mouth shut and tossed his coat on the hanger before slipping off his shoes.

“Get a lay of the land?” Sam asked. Dean shrugged and wandered into the kitchen. He found two bottles of root beer and brought them back to the living room.

“It’s still the same as ever,” Dean grunted and fell onto the ragged old couch. It wheezed in protest against their combined weight but the two ignored it in favor of popping open their bottles and staring at the TV.

“You ready for school tomorrow?” Dean asked after a moment of terrible one-liner’s and sunglasses at night. Sam grunted a noncommittal noise and took a drink.

“I guess. It all looks same as last year. I’m not convinced they’re going to teach me anything new this time.”

“Well hey, it’s not their fault you’re a stinking genius.”

“That’s not fair Dean,” Sam said, but Dean enjoyed the way Sam’s eyes lit at the praise. “Besides, you practically taught me everything I know anyway.”

“That’s a lie.” Dean leaned over and ruffled Sam’s hair, laughing when he was returned with a curse and a slap to his arm. “You’ve got a brain that could take out Stanford and you know it.”

“Sure. Whatever you say Dean,” Sam grumbled and rolled his eyes. His smile made Dean happy though, and they left the conversation at that.

The evening passed slowly. Dean went over the schedule with Sam one more time, testing his memory from the last time they were in Sioux Falls and making sure he’d be able to make it to all his classes without having to ask for directions.

“What about you?” Sam asked over dinner of ‘exotic’ mac ‘n cheese. “You know where all your classes are?”

“It’s like riding a bicycle, Sammy,” Dean reassured as he tossed another spoonful into Sam’s bowl. “You never forget. Besides, I’ve contacted a few old friends. I think thing’s’ll turn out good this time.”

“You say that every year.”

“And I mean it.”

Bedtime was a boring affair of brushing teeth, showering in Sam's case, and checking the locks on the doors. The apartment only had two bedrooms and one bathroom, so he and Sam had to share a room. Not that Dean was complaining. He was used to the arrangement. But it always resulted in Sam pestering him to go to bed at the same time as him, and getting up every fifteen minutes to check up on him when he didn't.

Dean was seventeen years old, damnit. He was nearly eighteen for crying out loud. He didn’t need his thirteen (nearly fourteen) year old brother checking up on him.

Besides, he had John to think about. And Dean preferred Sam to be asleep by the time their father rolled in after the late shift at the shop and bar. It was never pretty.

Sure enough, eleven thirty rolled around and Dean heard the jingle of keys outside the doorway. A heavy curse followed a _thunk_ and Dean knew John had dropped the key-chain. He sighed and stood up from the couch to check the peep hole. He saw John’s disheveled face and unlocked the door.

John stumbled through and patted Dean roughly on the arm. “What’ve I told you about opening up the door for strangers, boy?” His voice sounded heavy and unsteady. Dean could smell booze and stale cigarettes on his father’s clothes and fought back a wince.

“I checked before I opened the door,” Dean replied and offered his shoulder for John to lean on. The man accepted it readily and the two made their way into the living room. “You need water? Coffee? Something to wash down the liquor?”

“Ice pack will work just fine tonight.” John grimaced as he was settled down on the couch. Dean felt a small pang of sympathy and grabbed a blanket to cover his Dad with.

“Give me a sec.’ I got it.” Dean made his way back into the kitchen and opened the freezer. The trusty pack was there, ready and waiting as it did most nights. He grabbed a glass with it and filled it with water, then reached into the cupboard for a couple of Advil. His Dad would need it when he woke up the next morning.

Dean pushed back his frustration with the common household objects and went back to his father who was nearly unconscious. Dean hated to think of him out driving in the Impala like this. He could have hurt himself or someone else. But he couldn’t think about that now. He pressed the ice pack to John’s head and watched as John flinched, then steadily relaxed.

He set the glass and meds down on the stand beside him and sighed. “This okay?” He asked.

John nodded and rolled on to his side and looked at Dean tiredly. “’S good. You should be in bed. Got school in the morning, don’t ‘cha?”

Dean nodded. “Yes sir.”

“Then get on into bed. You gotta’ take your brother to… school.” John hiccupped and Dean nodded solemnly.

“I know. Will I have the car?”

“…Sure,” John said after a long moment. “Have it back by noon.”

Dean flinched but nodded. That meant he’d have to skip lunch to get it back to his Dad in time for his shift. That meant he and Sam would be walking home. As much as he didn’t like the idea, he understood the necessity behind it. “Yes sir. I’ll have it back.”

“Good. Good… Dean.”

John yawned, and Dean took that as his cue to leave.

He slipped into his and Sam’s room and tip-toed to his bed. The mattress squeaked beneath him and he held back a sigh of relief when Sam didn’t stir.

Sam wasn’t going to like walking home in the evening. Knowing his little brother, he’d probably want to get involved in some of the school clubs or something. That would mean leaving school later in the day. That meant it’d be darker out by the time they finally made it home. That meant more predators out at night and more people Dean would have to keep an eye out for.

He hated the idea. But it was just another fact of life. Something to deal with day by day. Dean could live with that. In the meantime, all he had to worry about was making sure Sam did okay in his schoolwork, make sure John was taken care of and hope that the new job would work out, and if not, Dean would have to look around for a side job of his own.

He’d browsed the help wanted ads that morning while Sam had slept in. He already had two or three places he was interested in. But with John’s pride, Dean would have to be careful to keep the job on the down low. Besides, if he was making some extra cash to keep their family on the upside, it was a good thing. Right?

Dean sighed and rolled onto his back. This wasn’t going to be an easy year. But he was determined to make it a good one. No matter what, even if it ended him.


	2. Where Is My Mind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean starts to settle into his new schedule and works with the issues of their new lives in Sioux Falls. Dean meets Benny for the first time, as well as the infamous school bully Alastair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I decided I'll just update whenever I finish writing and editing the next chapter. I really like this story and I plan to just keep writing it until it's done, so that means updates whenever. But also, if I don't update for longer than six days, I promise I'll update by the following Tuesday. Until then, I'll just be continually updating. Hope you like Chapter 2!

Charlie was just as bright and lively as Dean remembered. The moment he saw her she was barreling towards him and calling his name.

“Dean! You got taller!” She exclaimed when she wrapped him in a hug. Dean laughed and hugged her back, watching over her shoulder as three boys watched them in amusement. Dean recognized Kevin and Garth. They were kind of hard to miss. But there was a new addition to the group.

“Oh, hey, you haven’t met,” Charlie grinned and waved towards the rest of the group. “You remember Kevin, Garth. This here’s Castiel Novak. He and his family moved back last year. His Dad’s a pastor downtown.”

“Nice to meet you,” Castiel said and extended a hand to shake. Dean raised an eyebrow but shook his hand politely. “Charlie’s mentioned you. Tell me, did you really switch out all the Gatorade for pickle juice at the home game two years ago?”

“Not that anyone can prove,” Dean grinned and clapped the kid on the shoulder. Cas smirked and Dean decided he liked the guy.

As it turned out, he shared half of his classes with at least one of his friends every time. And with the weird layout of the school, Dean got to pass Sam in the halls between periods. From what he could see Sam had already bonded with two kids who were happily showing him around. One of them was girl, and Dean winked at his brother for feigning innocence. Sam had blushed and quickly looked away as the girl tugged him down the hall.

When lunch rolled around Dean had to turn down Charlie’s offer to sit with the group. He didn’t even stop to grab some food before he ran out to get in his baby and drive home.

John was working his way through the kitchen when Dean stepped inside. He looked better than he did last night. Stubble still lined his jaw, but he’d showered and changed and was eating something. Even if it was just the leftover breakfast Dean had made for Sam that morning.

“Hey Dad,” Dean called as he locked the door behind him. John nodded at him and grunted. Dean spotted the open bottle of Advil beside him and sighed. “How many did you have?”

“Not enough,” John replied and took a tentative sip of coffee. “But it’ll have to do. I’m heading out in a minute. You need anything?” John looked at him expectantly but Dean took one look around the apartment and shook his head.

“No,” he replied, ignoring the angry cramping in his stomach at the smell of John’s coffee. “I’m good. Just wanted to make sure everything was okay here.”

John huffed and glared at the cupboards. “Make sure your old man wasn’t still passed out on the couch, you mean?”

Dean winced and shook his head. “I didn’t mean—“

“Save it,” John stated and threw his mug in the sink. Dean tried not to flinch at the sharp sound and watched as John went to retrieve his jacket. “I’ll give you a ride to school.”

“It’s fine,” Dean quickly said. John’s work shift started in less than fifteen minutes. Stopping to take Dean back to the school would make him late. Dean didn’t want to risk John’s job this early in the season. “It’s not that far. I can walk.”

John looked skeptical. “You sure?”

Dean nodded firmly and John sighed. “Fine. Watch out for strangers. Don’t get into trouble.”

“Got it,” Dean replied.

John didn’t speak again and left a moment later.

Dean stood idly in the living room before going into the kitchen to check for any spare food. All that was left after breakfast was some cheese and ham. The expiration date on the bread passed a week ago, but Dean had been monitoring it for mold until it had _really_ started going bad two days ago. That meant he needed to make a shopping run tonight.

Dean sighed and closed the fridge. He told himself he wasn’t hungry anyway.

 

The walk back to school had been a long one. Longer than he’d anticipated, and even though he ran he found himself sliding into his seat seconds after the final bell. But he made it, and the rest of the day passed smoothly.

He was right too. Sam had two new friends. A girl named Jessica Moore and Castiel’s little brother Alfie, although Sam claimed his real name was much longer and harder to remember. Dean decided not to ask.

Fortunately for Dean, Sam was invited to go to the Novak’s house to hang out for the evening. That allowed Dean to run by the store and get everything he needed for the next week. It burned through the last of his savings, and Dean made sure to stop by any stores that were hiring on his way back to the apartment. He had at least two he was seriously considering. He would have loved to work at an auto shop like his Dad, but that meant he would have to work _with_ his Dad. He’d done that several times in the past and Dean was determined to avoid it if possible. He didn’t want his Dad to worry about him and it would only make him wonder why Dean felt the need to have a job. That would start another fight that Dean wasn’t ready for.

But there was an opening at the grocery store only a few blocks down from the apartment. It was minimum wage, but it would be enough to put in a little extra towards food and clothes so Dean decided it might work.

Sam had nothing bad to say about the Novak’s when he came home for dinner. Dean listened patiently, happy that Sam was already making friends and connections. Most people in new towns they went to assumed Dean was the popular one, always quick to join a group and make a thousand friends before the day was over. Others looked at Sam and assumed he was a loner. But in reality, the opposite was true.

Sam was a popular kid. In some schools it was harder to find kids who actually had a brain and Sam would move through the crowds by himself for a while, but it never lasted. Sam was likable and friendly. He knew what he wanted and who he was, and most people were attracted to that.

But Dean was usually the one alone at the end of the day. He’d gotten lucky this time. Charlie had been a great friend the last time they were in Sioux Falls, and he was fortunate that hadn’t changed about her. Because of her he wouldn’t have to worry about where to sit during lunch or if he’d just skip it entirely to save face. He was used to his classmates looking at him like he was the popular one, but he didn’t want shallow relationships. He liked to be surrounded by people who actually cared about him. And for most of his life, that was just Sam and Dad. Why did he need anybody else?

But Charlie was the exception, and Kevin and Garth had been kind to him as well. And not in that shallow way he hated. Once again he had the feeling he was going to like it here. Sam was happy and had what sounded to be good friends. Dad had a stable job (for now.) And Dean didn’t feel like he needed to fly under the radar to get by.

Things were looking up. But as usual, good times never seemed to last for him.

Dean got the job he wanted. With Sam joining extra credit classes after school and hanging out at his friend’s houses all the time, Dean was able to freely work most afternoons and evenings of the weekdays. He was making good money, his Dad continued to drink away most of their savings aside from rent, but Dean had the rest of it covered. They weren’t flying by, but they had enough to stay above water.

He was getting tired though. Between school, homework, Sam, his job, and taking care of Dad in the late hours, he wasn’t sure how much he was sleeping. It probably wasn’t healthy, and it was probably the reason Dean had stopped looking where he was going in the halls.

He’d only ever gotten away with it because of Charlie and the group. He always walked with at least one of them in the halls on their way to classes, so he never had to bother about looking farther than their shoulders or two feet forward.

But Garth was sick that morning. He’d caught the flu from some of his relatives over the weekend, and Dean found himself walking alone to Chemistry. He didn’t even realize a group of students were blocking the doors to class until he nearly walked into them.

“Watch where you’re going, jerk!” One of the girls in the group, a black haired girl with mean eyes snarled at him. Dean startled as he stumbled back and away from them.

“Sorry, I wasn’t—“

“Yeah, I noticed,” the girl snapped.

“Ruby, cool it,” a high pitched drawl came from the leader. He was tall, with thin hair and scruff around his thin jaw. He looked leery, and Dean couldn’t help but wonder if he was on drugs, or if he was just insane based on the strange glint that lit his eyes. “And who might you be?” The leader continued, leaning off the wall to get a better look at him.

Dean stared at them, refusing to show his discomfort with them. “I’m just trying to get to class,” he replied instead, purposefully glancing at the door and then back to the leader. He’d seen the guy before, roaming the halls with his pack. Dean never caught a name, but he knew immediately that the guy was a bully. He wasn’t someone Dean had any interest in making friends with.

The guy put a hand to his chest in mock offense. “Class doesn’t start for a few more minutes. This teacher always shows up late, too. That should be enough time to apologize for nearly running my friend over and telling us your name. You do have a name, don’t you? I hope you’re not all just pretty looks and no brains.”

Dean shivered and narrowed his eyes. A bully and a creep. Perfect.

“Dean,” he bit out, not even trying for politeness. “Now move or I’ll move you.”

The leader laughed and his group stared at him with wide eyes. Some of them looked amused, the others awed. Dean didn’t care. He didn’t have time for this crap.

“Pretty _and_ fiery!” The leader crooned. “Just the way I like ‘em. Tell me, _Dean_ , would you like to hang out sometime? I guarantee I know how to have a good time, and I could bet you’d like the same.”

“Pretty sure my idea of fun is way different than yours, asshat,” Dean replied with a growl. “Now, you moving or not?”

The leader’s eyes narrowed, all traces of amusement gone. He snapped his fingers and the girl who’d been blocking the door earlier moved away. Dean nodded curtly in mock friendliness and walked toward the door. He pulled away roughly when the girl tried to pet his arm.

Creeps. All of them.

He missed the shared look of the girl and the leader, but he didn’t miss the sudden grab of his arm that pulled him back through the door and out into the hall.

“Son of a _bitch—_ “ Dean exclaimed, his head suddenly colliding with the lockers by the door. The leader sneered down at him, a sickening smile spread out across his angular face.

“Now, I don’t take _kindly_ to people calling me names. Understand?” The guy was angry, but his tone was high and lilting, like he was chatting about the weather or the latest sport figures. Not currently digging bruises into his chest and wrinkling his shirt.

“Well I don’t like jerks who do whatever the hell they want whenever they want to,” Dean spit, enjoying the way the leader snarled in offense. The guy pulled him away from the lockers then slammed him back again. Dean’s vision whited out for half a second before he decided he wasn’t going to deal with this.

Dean kicked out his leg and slammed it into the bully’s knee. The guy cried out and threw a startled punch at Dean’s face, but it landed on his chest and sent him back into the wall.

“Alastair!” The girl called. Dean memorized the name. It was the name of the guy he was going to beat into a bloody _pulp_.

Alastair pulled himself upright in time to see Dean’s fist collide with his nose. Dean heard a distinctive snap beneath his knuckles, but he didn’t have time to enjoy the sensation before Alastair came back swinging.

Dean wasn’t sure what happened after that. It was all a blur of punches, kicks, and dented lockers. He was sure a teacher should have showed up by then, but his mind was preoccupied. Dean _hated_ bullies. This guy had messed with the wrong student.

Before Dean could follow through with another punch, Dean suddenly felt arms wrap around his chest and pull him back just before Alastair could land a powerful hit to his jaw.

“Let go of me, bitch!” Dean exclaimed, struggling to get away and see if he could land a good kick to the guy’s balls. Son of a bitch deserved it, picking on kids cause he could. Bastard.

“Easy, brother,” a low, southern voice said. Dean hesitated, surprised. He hadn’t expected a southern, no, _Cajun accent_ in a place like Sioux Falls. But it didn’t surprise him enough to make him stop fighting to get back at Alastair.

“Both of you, stop!” He growled, and this time Dean stopped fighting. He told himself he only followed orders because Alastair also hesitated, staring at whoever was holding Dean back.

“Now, before you both snap back into animals, how ‘bout you think where we are and how long it’ll be before our lovely teachers show up and rip you two new ones?” The new guy spoke calmly, but his tone was firm and left no room for argument.

Alastair cradled his bloody nose and Dean smirked in triumph at the decorating bruises that bloomed against the bully’s pale skin. Who cared if Dean had a matching set? He put those bruises there and the jerk deserved them.

“Mind your own business, Lafitte,” Alastair snipped, but he’d already taken a step back and his cronies were rushing to fuss over him.

“Lemme’ go,” Dean growled again. The guy behind him obeyed and Dean turned to face him.

The guy was _big_. He looked a bit old to be a student, but not nearly old enough to be on the school staff. He matched Dean in height, but his broad shoulders and body proved he was strong. Dean imagined he’d be a tough opponent in a fight.

But the guy had a nice face, surprisingly. Firm features, but soft blue eyes hidden under the shade of a ridiculous blue hat. Dean snickered at it and the guy raised an eyebrow.

“Got a problem?” The guy asked.

“Aside from the obvious?” Dean asked, waving at Alastair who was smacking one of the girl’s hands away from his face. The guy’s lips tilted into a small smirk and Dean grinned. “Nah. But next time, don’t try to step in. I don’t need rescuing.”

The student shrugged and looked away, then glanced back at Dean. “Wasn’t about rescuing anybody,” he replied simply. “You two were blocking the door.”

The guy smirked at Dean’s gawking face then turned and walked through the door to find a seat. Dean stared after him, unsure if he was amused or stunned.

Alastair was tripping away, clearly beginning to feel the strain of Dean’s kick to his knee, and the rest of his group were busy reassuring him and boosting his ego. Dean rolled his eyes and walked into class, not caring about the stares he was immediately met with by the students who’d somehow managed to get in before the fight.

The guy who’d stepped in sat in the far back corner, taking the only seat that guaranteed he wouldn’t have to talk to anybody. Dean didn’t consider himself a hermit, but he could see the appeal. Aside from Charlie and the crew, Dean hadn’t met many people worth talking to.

But that guy… Dean fell into his own seat and stared ahead at the white board. Alastair called him Lafitte. Clearly they knew each other, and not in the best way.

Dean sighed as the final bell rang and the teacher entered the room. Whoever that guy was, Dean didn’t want to think about it. He didn’t have the time to care. For now, he had school to worry about. And after, everything else.

By the time the day was over, the name Lafitte had fallen into the background of his mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you guys liked the chapter! please let me know what you think--see you at the next update!


	3. Meet Benny Lafitte

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean learns more about Benny Lafitte and accidentally, somehow, starts a friendship with him. Not that Dean minds. At all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Writing genius struck me and I managed to whip this up in a few hours. I took another hour to edit, so if there are any mistakes missed they belong to me alone. 
> 
> I hope you like Chapter 3!

Dean shivered and tugged his raggedy old coat tighter around himself. The heater broke for the first time since moving in. John said he was going to fix it, but that was before John changed his mind and claimed he would be staying out for the night. Dean took that to mean his father was either going to get shit faced drunk or laid. Maybe both. Either way, he didn’t want to think about it. Not after Sam and Dad’s fight that morning.

It was Saturday. Dean didn’t work on the weekends, and he’d been hoping for a quiet morning of sleeping in and maybe watching sports with John. Instead he’d woken up to a screaming match between his father and brother—something about school or work or the beer bottles on the table. Dean wasn’t sure. All he knew was that John stormed out the front door and didn’t come back till late, whispering to Dean that he was going out and not to wait up for him.

This wasn’t the first time John did something like this. Dean knew not to expect John back at all for the next few days until he cooled off. He’d probably be crashing on some friend’s couch from work, sulking over Sam’s words from the fight and regretting his own.

Dean hated all of it. He wished he could be working instead of having to deal with a brooding little brother who was determined to be right and a father who refused to face the situation they’d all found themselves in.

Which brought him here, making calls to the landlord and rummaging through boxes of winter clothing he and Sam could wear for the night. It was still early in the Fall season, but they were in South Dakota. Not to mention the weather man was calling for an early cold this year. Dean was preparing for a long night even if Sam wasn’t.

But it didn’t matter if Sam was going to bitch about John and strike out by letting himself catch a cold. Dean would just throw his comforter over Sam’s for extra warmth after his brother was fast asleep. Dean would take Dad’s blanket and hope that John meant it when he said he wasn’t coming back tonight.

True to his word, John didn’t come back that night. He didn’t come back Sunday night either, and the heater still wasn’t fixed despite the landlord’s reassurances that someone would be coming in that weekend to fix it. Dean crossed his fingers and hoped for a blessing on Monday.

The weekdays started again, and with it came the amazing public school heating system. Dean noticed the immediate relief in Sam’s shoulders and silently cursed himself for not being more aggressive about finding alternative heating options. He’d have to check with his boss at the store and see if things like that existed.

Dean bunched up his second coat in his locker and finally felt himself beginning to relax when his friends showed up. He didn’t have to think about his heater problem when Cas tried to explain why he hadn’t seen Star Wars, and he was able to redirect his attention to plotting with Charlie on how to get him over to her house for a marathon. Garth would be bringing the snacks and Kevin was determined to keep a schedule for them so they could get all the movies done in the most realistic time frame. Charlie called him a nerd and Dean was officially at peace.

But he did start to notice Alastair in the halls more. His skin crawled in anger every time the jerk hounded a smaller kid, trapping them between a rock and a hard place like it was Alastair’s craft and he was about to make his masterpiece.

Dean hated him for it, but he couldn’t interfere. His friends didn’t want him to get in trouble, no matter how much Dean didn’t care about himself. So he silently swore to himself that he’d never get involved… unless things got physical. Then Alastair would wish he never existed.

“You seem thoughtful,” Charlie said over lunch, tearing her sandwich into pieces before plopping the smaller bits into her mouth. Cas looked regretful over Charlie’s eating habits and tore his gaze away, nodding to Dean.

“She’s right. You’ve been quiet today.”

“Have not,” Dean replied sternly and tossed a cafeteria grade chip at him. “I’ve been busy plotting your demise with Charlie.”

Cas rolled his eyes. “I highly doubt your brooding has anything to do with my lack of pop culture understanding.”

“Trust me,” Dean reassured. “Once you get a taste of Harrison Ford and Carrie Fisher, you’ll never be the same.”

The topic switched after that, subjects changing between who was more attractive of the Star Wars heroes before Kevin suddenly lit up and raised his fork.

“Wait, you’ve been staring at Alastair a lot today. Is it something to do with him and your fight yesterday?”

Dean winced. The news of the fight had travelled fast amongst the school body. Apparently it wasn’t every day that Alastair Baits was beaten bloody. In fact, from what Dean gathered, it had never happened before. Dean was the first person to ever beat up Alastair. He’d certainly walked away with several bruises of his own, and Charlie had made it her mission to fuss over them for the rest of the day, but Dean had been high fived more times than he could count for the little display. He wasn’t sure how he felt about it.

“The guy’s a bully,” Dean said and looked down at his sandwich. “I friggin’ hate bullies.”

“Yeah, so you keep saying,” Charlie replied.

Garth looked thoughtful for a few moments. The entire conversation he’d been remarkably silent, until he asked curiously, “I heard that new transfer student had to literally drag you away from the guy?”

“New transfer student?” Dean asked, but then his eyes widened. ‘ _Easy, brother_.’ That accent was definitely unforgettable. It should have clicked that the guy wasn’t from South Dakota, but his thoughts were a bit preoccupied at the time.

“Alastair called him Lafitte,” Dean mumbled finally in realization. Charlie’s eyebrows rose.

“You got his _name_?” She sounded shocked. Dean couldn’t figure out why until Kevin nodded understandingly.

“We’re in History class together. The teacher introduced him as Benny. Apparently he’s from Louisiana. They moved up last week.”

“You know him too?” Charlie grinned and drummed her hands on the table. “Dudes, I’ve been trying to figure out who that guy is all day. No one really knows who he is or anything. Kind of a loner, but I hear he’s also been taking stands against Alastair. Nothing as famous as what you did, Dean. But he’s starting to get noticed too.”

“Maybe we should throw an ‘Everybody-Hates-Alastair’ party and plot his downfall,” Dean replied, only half joking. Charlie nodded and looked thoughtful.

“Maybe. But I don’t think anyone’s brave enough to stand up to Alastair just yet. Seems like it’s just you and the big bad Benny guy.”

“Big-bad?” Garth looked amused.

“Have you _seen_ that guy? Seriously, he’s a freaking brick house.”

The conversation finally turned away from Alastair, Dean, and the new guy called Benny, and Dean steadily relaxed. After lunch he was still wary of whenever he saw Alastair and his cronies, but he also started to notice Benny’s presence more as well.

True to what Charlie had said, Benny was clearly watching Alastair just as much as Dean was. Benny never acted when Alastair scared some poor kid out of his mind, but with no physical altercations happening, Benny was staying back. Only after everything was said and done Benny would pass Alastair and whisper something to him and Alastair would spit out curses in return.

Dean had the pleasure of watching the exchange, and accidentally locked eyes with Benny as they passed in the hall. Benny gave him a small nod and smile of acknowledgement, and Dean offered a curt nod of his own. Overall, Dean wasn’t sure what was going on between the three of them now. But as long as Alastair was mad and fuming, Dean was okay with it.

Sam went to Jess’s house that evening to do homework. Dean didn’t expect him home till after dinner, which freed him up to work at the store without wondering too much about Sam’s safety if he’d been at the apartment. The most Dean had to worry about were a few stolen kisses over homework sheets and holding hands under the dinner table. Dean made sure to tease Sam about it later.

His shift lasted longer than usual and he didn’t get out until the sun was already well on its way down. He pulled his coat tighter around himself, silently hoping that the landlord finally figured out the heating problem. It wouldn’t be the first time he’d spent multiple nights cold in some no name motel or apartment, but it wasn’t something he preferred. Especially with a bitchy Sam still mad at John, and their father still gone whoever knew where.

Dean avoided a group of particularly nasty curb-dwellers and shuffled his way inside the apartment building. It was a bit warmer than outside, but not by much. It seemed the cold was spreading, as evidenced by the angry and frustrated faces of the people he passed in the halls. Before he could make it to the stairs to go up to their floor, he spotted the landlord himself, standing next to two big guys and explaining the situation.

 _Hah_ , Dean thought proudly. So he was fixing the problem. But then his eyes widened as he realized who he was talking to.

Benny Lafitte. Dean almost didn’t recognize him if it weren’t for that crazy blue hat on his head. But it was a dead giveaway, and Dean tried not to stare. He jumped in surprise when Benny turned to look at him, offering a small smile and wave before turning back to the landlord, who was waving his arms angrily and spouting nonsense only the workers probably understood.

Dean tried not to stare. He really did. But it was strange, seeing Benny in his apartment building, wearing a blue jumpsuit for whatever fix-it company he clearly worked for. He could feel Benny’s eyes continue to drift over to him, and Dean gave up. He walked away from the stairs and took a seat on an open couch instead, folding his arms and watching as the landlord finally walked away in a huff with an exclamation of, “Fix it right this time or I’m filing a complaint with your offices!”

Dean smirked at the tirade but kept his mouth shut. Soon enough Benny and his partner where hunkering down to work, pulling out their equipment and looking over whatever it was they needed to fix the heating system. The other guy, a short weasely man who looked for all the world like he should be anywhere else, stood and walked into the back room where the heating system probably was. Benny glanced over at Dean, still watching, and walked over steadily.

He nearly jumped in surprise, not really expecting Benny to try and talk to him again. Not after his little scene with Alastair last Friday. But Benny was wearing that crooked little smile like he had some kind of inside joke or secret, and Dean was determined to figure out what was so funny about it.

“You live here?” Benny asked, his accent low and curious. Dean swallowed, still not used to the smooth sound, and nodded.

“Didn’t realize you worked for a fix-it company,” Dean replied somewhat stupidly. But it was true, so he tried not to dwell on it too deeply.

Benny shrugged and nodded. “It pays well. Gotta’ keep the money rolling in somehow, you know?” Something in his tone said he knew that Dean did. Dean raised his eyebrow but didn’t rise to the comment.

“How old are you anyway?” Dean asked instead. “You’d have to be over eighteen to have a job like that, right?”

“I’m nineteen, still a senior.” Benny replied simply, his tone gruff and simple. “But I used to intern for a few years. They let me in on some of the bigger jobs now. What about you? You work?”

Dean wasn’t sure what was going on. He wasn’t sure why they were even talking in the first place. Dean should have been upstairs already, trying to warm things up for whenever Sam or his Dad got home. But instead he was sitting and chatting with Benny, the same guy who dragged him out of a fight with Alastair, the guy they both clearly couldn’t stand.

Yet Dean still found himself replying, “I work at the Grocery Outlet a few blocks from here. It gives me stuff to play with, so the work’s good.” Stuff to play with, Dean huffed at that. More like make sure they didn’t fall under water because they couldn’t afford rent and food at the same time. As usual.

Benny nodded and smiled slightly. “Good store,” he said. “They’re the only place in town that sells the good candy.”

Dean laughed and nodded, “Ain’t that the truth.”

A steady silence fell between them and Benny scratched at the back of his neck. “Well then… I should prob’ly get back to work here.”

Dean nodded and stood. “Yeah. Sorry if I kept you or anything.”

“Nah,” Benny grinned, and Dean couldn’t help but notice a certain sharpness to the other boy’s teeth. “Nothing too big just yet. But hey, it was nice seeing you brother.”

 _Brother_. That word again. Dean couldn’t be sure, but he sort of liked the way Benny said it. Not that he’d ever say so out loud. They weren’t really… _friends_ , were they? But Benny was grinning again, and Dean waved as the other boy walked back to their supplies and grabbed the duffle bag. Before he stepped into the back room, he waved on last time and disappeared.

Dean stood still for a moment, letting the previous conversation sink in, before finally turning and walking up to the apartment room. By the time he had dinner going, the heater had kicked back in to its former glory. Dean smiled, for some reason amused that he knew the person who'd finally fixed the heater.

He told himself it was only the returned heat in the room that made his cheeks turn warm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys liked it! Please let me know what you think. Another update should come within the next day or two if all goes well.


	4. Hard Knock Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Perspective shift: a glimpse into the life of one Benny Lafitte.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I hope you all liked the last chapter. This next one is taking a short break from Dean's main perspective in the story and is going to take a look at the world through Benny's eyes. Expect some plot developments! Because single plot lines are just too easy. (1 for Dean, 1 for Benny, and of course, we're all waiting for them to get together, right? So that's a plotline we're all dependent on. But with a few side factors thrown in for fun... or angst? who knows. read on and find out.) 
> 
> Hope you guys like the next chapter! I don't really have intentions to make this deanbenny fic a slow build, although I'm totally for friendship leading into romance. Always. Heheh. Please pardon my romance tendencies. 
> 
> Anyway, enough from me. Read on! I hope you guys like the switched perspective. (Also, please forgive me for the chapter title. I recently watched the 2014 Annie and now I'm forever ruined for the soundtrack. Bless that movie. Seriously.)
> 
> All mistakes are my own. I didn't have that much time for editing today.

Benny Lafitte sighed and wiped his brow, staring down at the dirty halls of his home. He hadn’t cleaned up this place since they moved in. He’d been distracted, and understandably. But he’d put off the cleaning for far too long, and the stress of not doing anything was finally beginning to get to him. But that was a regret he was going to deal with now.

Dust covered nearly every piece of furniture. Stains were on the walls from the previous home owners who didn’t care to clean them before moving out. There were black scuff marks on the floor, probably from where the furniture had been dragged across the boards. They weren’t permanent marks, but Benny imagined they’d be hell to scrub out.

But he came prepared. After a quick stop by the store, he was fully prepared for a long night of cleaning.

He started with dusting, figuring he’d start with the easiest parts and work his way up. He had the endurance to handle it. There were three main rooms he had to deal with. The kitchen was mostly clean from the frequent usage, but the living room, dining room, and master bedroom were seriously lacking in care. Probably because no one used those rooms since the family moved in. Benny was always the one cooking, and he preferred to migrate to his bedroom to eat. It kept away the prickling sense of being alone in a house far too big for just himself.

Every other room was up for grabs from every insect and dust mite on the block.

The sudsy water and mop came out next, and Benny took a little too much glee rushing down the hall and through the dining room, swinging the mop like a weapon across the boards and enjoying the _swooshing_ sounds it made through the soapy water. And he may have gotten a little too excited when he whipped out the towels and skid around to clean up what was left.

The stains on the walls were a little harder to get out. By the time he was finished his arms were starting to strain, and the clock told him he’d already been working for over an hour. It was already too late to be up, but he still had work to do before he called it a night.

Benny picked up his cleaning tools and wandered down the hall, stopping at the last room to clean. He only hesitated at the door for a second, just long enough for him to remember he was being ridiculous, and pushed it open.

Inside was his mother’s room. Benny was only vaguely surprised by the collection of dust that had gathered in the room. He hadn’t opened the door since they moved in. Everything looked exactly the same as that first day.

His mother’s bed was made neatly to the left of him, covered in soft pink comforters. There’d been plush pillows on the bed too, but they were gone with his mother now. They were both in a place much more comfortable for them.

The rest of the room was quaint and simple. A rocking chair in the corner, complimented by a desk full of sewing and crocheting supplies. A half-finished quilt lay across the chair, as well as slippers at the base. The closet door was open, revealing a row of woman’s clothing. The bathroom door was shut. Benny had no intentions of going in there. Somehow going in his mother’s bathroom seemed more personal than just cleaning up the bedroom.

Benny started with taking out the remaining pillows and comforters, beating out the dust and placing them back on the bed for the time being. He didn’t plan on washing them unless he needed to. Until then, Benny was determined to only deal with the necessities.

Once the room was fully dusted and cleared out of old garbage, Benny finally left the room and closed the door behind him. The room looked exactly the same as when he came in, only cleaner and fresher. The way his mother would have liked it, Benny was certain.

He wondered for a while after he was finished, observing his work and criticizing the small areas he’d missed in his rounds. But fortunately for himself, there was nothing too glaring to worry about.

Benny wasn’t even sure why he cleaned. It wasn’t like any one would be coming to visit. He and his mother had just moved there. All their old friends were back in Louisiana, and it wasn’t like they were coming to visit, or Benny had time to make friends who could come over. And his mother certainly wasn’t able to make friends either.

He sighed and wiped his forehead one more time before turning back to his bedroom. He wasn’t tired, but the cleaning was done and homework wrapped up. There was nothing better to do except watch mindless television, something he didn’t prefer to do alone. It just made the house feel even more lonely than usual.

Benny’s room was the simplest area of the house. The walls were gray and the worn old bed was navy blue. He had a dresser, a small desk for homework, and a bookshelf full of stories his mother had given him growing up. There were a few pictures on his desk, all of them from when he was younger. In most of them he was barely a teenager. His mother stood behind him, her arms wrapped around his shoulders and smiling at the camera. Her long blond hair had fallen in his face, and he’d been making a ridiculous face trying to blow it away. That picture was one of Benny’s favorites. It captured a better time, a time Benny hoped could return someday.

He collapsed on the bed and stared at it intently before turning out the lamp beside him. He hoped his mother was happy.

 

The next day was the same as ever. Benny went through his daily classes, kept his eye on Alastair, and avoided everyone else. He wasn’t here to make friends. He was here to keep his grades up and stay out of trouble. But Alastair was making that plan difficult with his lurking presence. But Benny kept his distance, sworn to not get involved unless he had to.

But that didn’t mean Benny couldn’t get on the guy’s nerves as much as Alastair got on his. As long as no one was getting hurt, Benny never took his hands out of his pockets and promptly moved on.

He saw Dean in the hallways between classes. They shared a few together, not that Dean had ever noticed. Benny was nearly always sitting in the back. But he’d noticed Dean almost immediately. He’d learned Dean’s name his first day at Sioux Falls High. Whether the other boy realized it or not, he’d made quite the first impression at the school. Dean hadn’t even had his famous fight with Alastair before most of the students knew his name.

There was something about the senior that had all of the kids staring. Maybe it was his determined confidence, the way he held himself like he knew exactly what he was doing. Or maybe it was his straight talking and friendly nature. It could also have something to do with the story that seemed to circulate the halls. Apparently two years prior Dean Winchester had switched out all the Gatorade of a home game with pickle juice. At first everyone thought he’d only done it to the home team, but after the opposing team won everyone could smell the pickle reeking off the coach when the winning team ceremoniously dumped it on him.

And now, with the fight with Alastair, Dean had suddenly turned into a school hero.

Benny admired the guy’s bravery, if not foolishness. In the few days Benny had been here, he’d learned very quickly that Alastair was not someone to be messed with. Benny had seen his fair share of bullies growing up. But this Alastair had an air all his own. There was an ominous feeling about him, something dark and sinister that Benny was wary of.

It was the primary reason he was concerned that Dean didn’t notice. From his vantage point, he could see the exchanged glances and glares. Dean hated the guy. Benny wasn’t sure what was going through Dean’s head that day of the fight, but Benny was certain if he hadn’t gotten involved, it would have resulted in more damaging injuries and detention for a week. And it was for that reason Benny kept a more wary eye out. He didn’t want to see anybody getting hurt. Least of all Dean, who seemed ready and itching for another fight.

Which reminded him of his unplanned meeting with Dean downtown. It had been strange, seeing Dean at the apartment complex. Benny hadn’t been there before, but he recognized the looks of the men that hugged the corners and alleys. It was the kind of downtown only seen on the movies. Benny was no stranger to them, but he’d hoped for better in his new home town. And seeing Dean there had been a surprising, but not unpleasant meeting.

He’d also seen Dean working in the Grocery Outlet a few blocks down. Benny had gone there once or twice to buy candy for him and his mother. He’d spotted Dean wearing the employee vest and carrying out boxes from the back doors. He wasn’t quite willing to admit he’d watched a little longer than necessary before quickly exiting the store and hurrying back home.

Dean was an attractive guy. Physically and personally. With the dusty dark blond hair and the freckles, he was all kinds of physical beauty. But talking with him was something else entirely, and not in a bad way either. Talking with him in the school hall and at Dean’s apartment had been evident to that. Dean had a bluntness and straightforwardness that Benny hadn’t come across often, and Dean was nice.

Benny liked the guy. He hoped that they could be friends, even though he knew the odds of that were low. He knew he wasn’t the friendliest person in the world. He liked people. But he wasn’t very good with them either. He didn’t get his hopes up for friendship, let alone anything more than that.

It was for that very reason, that he was not expecting Dean to smile at him the moment they locked eyes at school, or for him to wave him over.

“Benny! Hey, get over here.”

Benny stared at him, only hesitating for a second before he awkwardly shuffled Dean’s way. Dean was surrounded by his friends, all of them watching him with mixed emotions. The redhead, he recognized as Charlie, was staring at him with some kind of smirk on her face. Two of the boys, a short Asian boy and a boy with bright blue eyes, were watching him with concentrated curiosity. The last boy just looked happy to see him.

“Well, hello there,” Benny said politely. Dean grinned and clapped him on the shoulder, catching him by surprise.

“So, Charlie and Kevin tell me that you have a bunch of classes with us. If you want you could walk with us?” _So you don’t have to walk alone_. Dean hadn’t said it, but Benny could see the unspoken words in the younger boy’s eyes.

But instead of being offended, Benny smiled and nodded, “Wouldn’t mind at all. Sure would be nice to know who I’ll be walking with though?”

A bit of color rose through Dean’s face and Benny purposefully didn’t notice it. Dean quickly waved to his friends and introduced, “Uh, yeah, sorry. This is Charlie, Kevin, Garth, and Castiel. But feel free to call him Cas, cause I do. Which class are you heading for?”

“Government.”

“Awesome. That’s me and Cas,” Dean said. They instantly scurried down the hall when the warning bell rang, and Benny couldn’t help the smile on his face when Dean grabbed his arm and dragged him into the classroom before they could accidentally slide past the door.

Benny made a move to go to the back of the room, but Dean stopped him.

“Hey, I have a question for you,” he asked. Benny turned around to face him.

“Do you _want_ to sit by yourself? I’ve got a spare seat next to me, you know?”

“Yeah, I know,” Benny replied with a small smile, sensing the coming question.

Dean flushed, narrowing his eyes at Benny like he was upset. He very well could be. Benny wasn’t the type to rise to challenges or unspoken statements. He was fonder of giving them, only receiving them when he found the immediate reward worthy. Right now, the reward was coming from Dean’s subtle embarrassment, for what Benny had no idea why. But he was enjoying it.

“So?” He said, exasperated. “Sit next to me?”

Benny grinned. “Love to.”

For the rest of the day Benny spent his time with Dean and his friends. He didn’t talk much through lunch, but he enjoyed the conversations that circulated the group. And for nearly all of his classes, true to their word, he found himself with a companion to walk with and sometimes, he even had someone to sit by. He didn’t talk much. He rarely did around strangers. But there was a comfortable air to these people, Dean and his friends. He found it easy to relax, and surprisingly, the others didn’t seem off put by his silence.

By the end of the day when he climbed into his beat up truck and drove home, he felt lighter than he’d been in weeks. He had a lot to tell his Ma’ about when he saw her that evening at the Sioux Falls Memory Care home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts? Questions? Happy/sad/annoyed/mad/lovely feelings? Please let me know! 
> 
> Next chapter should go back to Dean's perspective, although now it'll have a mix between the two of them. (Because it's more fun like that, right? Right. Maybe? We'll see.) 
> 
> Anyway, let me know your thoughts! Thanks for reading guys!


	5. Maybe Someday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean is confronted by his possible feelings for Benny, while also looking back on his past relationship history. (Basically is Dean comfortably bi or does he think he's straight as an arrow?)
> 
> Dean and Benny learn more about each other and grow closer in their friendship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay. I'm slightly embarrassed by how quickly I'm updating today. But my sister is taking the SAT's today and me and my mom had to drive her up to another city to take them. (Joy's of homeschool. Honestly.) So I had four hours to kill and this is what I came up with.
> 
> I'm genuinely a little nervous about this chapter, so I hope you guys like it! (This is what happens when plots progress... Sorry. I hope my nervousness doesn't show in the writing.) 
> 
> Anyway, notes for this chapter: discussions of Dean's past relationships. Also Sam is the ultimate shipper and no one can convince me otherwise.
> 
> (One last note, the summary and tags have been edited. Nothing has really changed, but they are now a little more descriptive.) Now, my rambling aside, please enjoy Chapter 5!

“So, who’s Benny?” Sam asked a little over two weeks later. Dean stopped himself just in time from jumping at the question, instead redirecting his surprise into abruptly switching lanes in traffic. A honk and a flip off was his return, but Dean didn’t care.

“What?” Dean asked, looking over at his little brother in the passenger seat. Sam shrugged.

“I noticed somebody new joined your group. You never mentioned him so I had to ask Charlie.”

“Then you already know who he is,” Dean raised an eyebrow. “So what are you really asking here?”

Sam looked nervous for a brief moment, but the look passed quickly and he turned to look at Dean directly. “It’s just… You don’t really look at him like you look at the rest of your friends.”

Dean stared straight ahead. He wasn’t going to have this conversation. Not with his nearly fourteen year old brother looking at him like he could see right through him. And for all Dean knew, Sam could. The thought wasn’t exactly reassuring.

And what was that supposed to mean anyway? He _looked_ at Benny different? That could mean anything. Dean wasn’t going to lie and say Benny wasn’t interesting, and that Dean wasn’t curious about the guy. He’d been getting to know more about Benny over the past few weeks, and sure they’d spent a little more time together than the rest of the group had. But they were just friends. They barely talked about anything other than school. As far as relationships went, this one was pretty shallow, despite how much Dean enjoyed the other boy’s company and wanted to learn more about him.

But he wasn’t about to admit to attraction or anything that ridiculous. _You don’t swing that way_ , Dean told himself resolutely, even though he’d already had to crush any notice of Benny’s attractiveness down multiple times over the past week alone.

“I don’t look at him different,” Dean said firmly. “I just don’t know much about him. All we do is go to classes together. I don’t _like_ him, okay? If that’s what you’re jumping at.”

Sam smirked. Dean wanted to wipe it off his face. Possibly with his fist. But Sam just grinned and leaned back against his seat.

“I didn’t say it,” Sam said simply, far too innocent.

Yep. Dean was ready to dock him a new one. Too bad he was driving and couldn’t get away with it. Yet.

“Dude, your face is red!” Sam exclaimed as Dean’s hands tightened around the steering wheel.

“Shut it Sam,” Dean growled and pulled the Impala into the parking lot of the movie theater.

Dean should have figured Sam would jump to conclusions. The kid was blinded by his own rose-tinted glasses. It was the reason Dean was driving the kid to the movies.

Sam had a date. With that girl, Jessica Moore. Sam was dressed up all spiffy in his nicest jeans and a button down shirt and jacket. He looked good for his first date. Dean had even helped him get ready. But he should have expected Sam to suddenly take a turn and look at Dean’s love life, or lack thereof, and start trying to make matches or conclusions.

But where did he get Benny’s name from? Benny was a dude. And last time Dean checked, Dean was too. What got into Sam to make him think Dean _liked_ him?

The kid was blind, Dean decided. He’d let it go for now. Sam didn’t know what he was talking about.

“Seriously Dean,” Sam was still talking, regrettably. “It’s okay if you like guys, you know. I used to think you and that Aaron guy were together back in Montana.”

Dean froze. That name. _How in the hell…_? He couldn’t even think, completely at a loss of what to say. Sam noticed the change and frowned.

“Dean?” Sam asked. “You okay?”

No. He wasn’t _okay_. Sam wouldn’t mind his own business, and now he was dredging up old memories Dean would really prefer not to remember. But Aaron? Aaron Bass? That was crossing a line.

“Jess is probably waiting for you,” Dean said, body stiff and unmoving.

“Dean, we came fifteen minutes early so Jess _wouldn’t_ be waiting for me. Remember? What’s up? Wait, _were_ you and Aaron together?”

“Sam…” Dean warned, but Sam’s eyes widened.

“Oh my God! Dean! Why didn’t you say something! I thought it was just mutual crushes and silent pining or something. Dean, you had a boyfriend!”

“Shut _up_!” Dean shouted. He instantly regretted it when Sam flinched away.

Great, Dean thought to himself. He’d probably just ruined Sam’s mood for the date. Awesome.

Dean sighed and ran a hand over his face. “Look, Sam. I’m sorry, but I don’t want to talk about it. Okay? I don’t want to talk about Aaron, or guys, or my love life. Is that too much to ask?”

Sam shook his head, looking a little less hurt, but no more happy than before.

“Can you at least tell me what happened? I promise I’ll shut up after,” Sam said. “I just thought you were really happy when he was around, and I figured you might like dating again.”

Dean drummed his fingers on the wheel, silently willing Jess and her mom to show up already. But there was no sign of them anywhere. Sam watched him expectantly, and that was the worst part. Dean could deny him, just kick Sam out of the car and push him inside to wait for his date. But that wouldn’t be fair, and Sam wouldn’t be able to enjoy his date the way he should.

He sighed once more and finally replied, “We moved away. Never saw him again, never talked to him again. There was no point in going on if we were never coming back.”

Dean could feel Sam staring at him, but he didn’t look back. He wasn’t sure he could handle whatever expression would undoubtedly be on his little brother’s face. The kid had the most expressive face Dean had ever seen. It was the last thing Dean needed right then.

“Okay,” Sam said. His tone sounded disbelieving, but Dean sighed in relief. “I’ll leave it alone, for now. But Dean? It’s okay, you know that right?”

“Yeah, Sam. I know.”

He was unprepared for the hug that followed, but he returned it kindly. When Sam pulled back he was smiling, so Dean decided he must have done something right.

It was then that Jess and her mom showed up, and Dean shooed Sam out of the car. He stayed to watch the greetings, amused when Sam tried to talk to the mom with flustered and anxious hand gestures. Dean liked to imagine he’d grow out of that someday, but at the same time, it certainly had its own charm. Either way, Dean was sure Sam would never have trouble securing dates when he got older.

Dean wondered if the same could be said for him. He drove away and didn’t think about Aaron Bass or Benny Lafitte again.

 

It was harder to ignore when Benny stood next to him after lunch. They had History together next. He and Benny had started sitting next to each other for all their classes.

When Dean had first started coming a few weeks ago he’d taken to sitting in the middle of the class. It gave him a good vantage point of the rest of the room and allowed him to socialize as much as he wanted when he didn’t like the teacher. Unfortunately, the people he socialized with were either bigoted or gross or annoying. Dean was happy to move to the back with Benny, and he found it was much more entertaining to watch his classmates with Benny whispering ideas or jokes in his ear.

Benny was very creative, Dean learned. They would often exchange theories about the other students, imagining made up realities were the popular girls were all stuck up princesses waiting for their knights in shining armor, the jocks. But instead of their jock princes, the kid who was constantly sneezing would blow them all to smithereens. Dean was convinced the sneezing kid was the dragon. Benny was determined to make him the ogre.

They’d even brought the rest of the group into their game, and now lunch was free reign of imagination and made up stories. Cas and Charlie were tied for best storytelling. Cas would get dark and introspective, Charlie would turn everything into sharp colored fantasy. Garth liked romantically pairing people, something Charlie liked to jump in with whenever she could, and Kevin would quietly remind them that there was a thing called ‘chemistry’ for a reason. Dean and Benny were at the bottom of the totem pole for storytelling, but they’d definitely won for most violent and active turn outs.

But the more Dean hung out with Benny, the more he realized he didn’t actually _know_ Benny. The guy was nice. Dean definitely counted him as a friend, just like he counted the others. But with the others, he actually _knew_ about them. He knew about their home lives, about their hobbies and interests. He knew about their parents, their crazy relatives or their dream jobs. With Benny… He just knew that he was from Louisiana, liked stories, hated bullies, had an action-framed mind, but was pretty calm and relaxed with most situations.

All of those things were awesome characteristics, but Dean felt strange not knowing anything more about his friend. Especially with Sam’s words ringing in his ears.

Dean didn’t like Benny like that. He’d been convincing himself of that for nearly two weeks now. But there was a nagging in the back of his mind, a reminder of an attraction that Dean was determined to ignore.

He didn’t notice the softness of Benny’s eyes, or the way his sandy blond hair poked out from underneath his hat. He didn’t notice the way his broad shoulders seemed to shift with every emotion, relaxing when he did, stiffening whenever Alastair walked by or came into their eye-line.

Dean didn’t have time to notice those little things. He had more important things to think about. Like his Dad, who finally came home after disappearing for four days straight, or how when he did show up he was so wasted he couldn’t even talk straight and didn’t even make it to the couch before passing out.

The past few weeks since he’d been back had been strained. Sam and John weren’t talking, and when John finally came home from work (much later than eleven now) he would either be drunk and mad, or silent and sober. Dean didn’t like either version of his father, but he knew how to handle it.

For drunken John, Dean would just have to grab an ice pack, water, Advil, and make sure his Dad got to bed or the couch okay without getting in his way or giving him any reason for further anger and frustration. For silent and sober John, Dean would just quietly ask for whatever he needed and get it for him quickly and let John do whatever he needed to. That usually required brooding and watching the TV for a few hours before going to bed.

Dean was getting less sleep now because of it, and it was getting harder not to say anything with every night that John came home later and later. Sometimes he wished his Dad would either just stay home or stay gone. Taking John’s brooding moods for weeks and months on end was draining, and Dean sometimes wondered how much he could take.

But he’d quickly push the thought away. John was doing his best. Dean needed to be loyal, help him through the hard times. But the hard times were long and unyielding. It was hard not to have doubts sometimes.

Benny caught him thinking one day after school. He didn’t have the Impala, so he had to wait for Sam to get finished with his extra credit class in the next hour.

“Hey brother,” Benny called. Dean looked up from where he sat on the grass, surprised to see him.

“Hey,” he replied as Benny walked his way. “Shouldn’t you be on your way home?”

Benny shrugged and smiled. “I got nobody waiting for me there,” he replied. His tone was serious for someone with a smile on their face.

Dean wondered what that meant. He thought about his earlier questions, about Benny’s home life. About Benny’s personal life. He wasn’t sure if he’d be crossing a line, but he wanted to know.

“Do both your parents work?” He asked. Benny’s smile faltered for a moment, but the boy shrugged and the smile came back shortly.

“My old man’s been gone since before I was a teen,” he replied simply. “Ma’s doing the best she can.”

Dean nodded in understanding. “I can understand the feeling.”

“Yeah?” Benny asked. His eyes darted between Dean and the spot next to him. Taking the hint, Dean patted the grass beside him and watched as Benny grinned and sat down, sighing as his body relaxed.

“Yeah,” Dean affirmed. “My mom died when I was four. My Dad’s been moving around for most of me and my brother’s lives, finding new jobs and trying to make do. It isn’t easy, but we make it work.”

“That why you hold a job?” Benny asked. When Dean didn’t immediately respond, he looked guilty and quickly added, “I don’t mean to push or nothing, but I was curious.”

Dean shrugged and leaned back. “No, it’s fine. But… Yeah, that’s why. What about you?”

Benny nodded and smiled weakly. “Same.”

Silence fell over them for a few minutes. It wasn’t uncomfortable, and Dean felt a little more at ease with the other boy. So much for not knowing anything about each other. It wasn’t quite what Dean had in mind, but the bond was there, and he felt a little better understanding why they seemed to get along and understand each other so well.

“Hey, uh… Dean?” Benny asked. Dean hummed in response.

“I noticed you and your brother walk home a lot. Would either of you like a ride back?”

Dean turned to look at him, surprised by the offer. The answer popped into his mind without bidding, a resounding _yes_ that Dean had to push down it was so eager to be said. Of course he’d like a ride home. With Benny, getting Sam home safely without having to worry about the lingering creepy glances from the downtown thugs. And riding with _Benny_? Yep. He liked that idea. A lot.

Dean tried to pretend to think about it, but his mouth and brain weren’t connected and he heard himself say, “Yes,” before he even had a chance to stop himself.

Benny beamed and Dean instantly felt better about his eagerness, glad that Benny meant it.

“Great,” Benny said and leaned back, matching Dean’s posture in every way except for his wiggling feet. “Don’t have to worry about giving me directions though. I think I remember where you live.” He winked and Dean blushed, quickly turning his eyes to look at anything else.

Benny chuckled, a low rumble that had Dean grinning in seconds.

They chatted for the rest of the hour, talking about anything and everything. Benny asked him if he really was the culprit of the pickle juice story and Dean gave him the details of how he got away with it. Dean asked Benny about Louisiana, the one state in the US that Dean barely knew, and Benny happily told him about his childhood years of baseball and learning to sail with his mother. They talked about other smaller things too, like their History teacher’s new mustache and the possible scandal of him and the Calculus teacher secretly being together.

They were laughing by the time Sam came out from his class, and Dean purposefully ignored the knowing smile and raised eyebrow from his little brother.

It was on the ride home that it finally hit Dean. A painful beating in his chest as he realized Sam was more than a little right. He did like Benny. He liked him a lot. Benny was freaking listening to _Kansas_ on his radio and was joking with Sammy about girls and sports, and he was every bit as nice and kind as Dean knew he was.

Dean wasn’t sure there _was_ anything genuinely bad about the guy. If anything he was _too_ good. He didn’t even get in fights with Alastair, the number one person he couldn’t stand, while Dean hadn’t hesitated to throw the first punch.

But that wasn’t all of it. It would never work out for a hundred reasons.

But as Benny dropped them off at their apartment, saying goodbye with a, “Same time tomorrow?” Dean began to wish that maybe, in another life, it could have worked out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys like it! I know some of you guys had questions about Benny's mom and the story behind that. But don't worry, the answers will reveal themselves in due time. (Possibly sooner than you expect?) 
> 
> Anyway, please let me know what you guys think. You guys seriously make my day every day. Thank you for reading!


	6. He and Him (Not Bad)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Benny visits his Mom in a Memory Care home and makes some decisions about his growing feelings for Dean. 
> 
> Dean examines his own feelings for Benny, but is hesitant to admit to them.
> 
> John learns about Benny.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some notes for this chapter: there *is* a place called Sioux Falls Memory Care, but the one I'm referencing in my own story is my own fictional version of it. (As I have never been to Sioux Falls.) So everything referenced towards the home and what happens there only comes from my own personal research and imagination.
> 
> Also, warnings for this chapter: there is some referenced and implied homophobia. A few numbers of discussions of sexual orientation, and again references to Dean's past relationships. 
> 
> Any leftover mistakes are mine alone, and I hope you guys like chapter six! (I've been shooting for staying under 10 Chapters, but we'll see if it goes over by one or two chapters.)

“She’s in the game room,” one of the volunteers at the care home said with a smile. Benny smiled back kindly and walked in the direction he’d been pointed to.

Benny didn’t need directions. He’d already been here dozens of times in the past few weeks since they came here. His Ma’ had been moved into the care home almost immediately upon their arrival. They’d been given a few days to settle into their main home, the place Benny had been occupying by himself for weeks, before his mother had been quickly taken in before their first week in Sioux Falls was over.

It was a nice place. Spacious with nice colors and furnishings, it felt like a real home. It didn’t feel like just another building that took care of later stages Alzheimer patients.

Benny smiled when he stepped inside the game room. Just like the rest of the facility, the room was big and comfortable. The game room was often used as a place for visitors to hang out with their friends or relatives in an open environment. There were lots of seating arrangements from chairs to sofas, and there were multiple tables that held board games, books, or other entertainment. There was even an old piano in the corner, where one elderly lady was sitting and trying to remember the notes to some old song.

But Benny wasn’t looking at any of those things. His mother sat in the back, rocking peacefully in her favorite chair. She wasn’t as old as many of the patients in the room with her, but even from a distance Benny could see the strands of gray and white salting her blonde hair. She had laughing lines around her bright blue eyes, eyes that Benny had inherited. She was wearing her favorite blue blouse and a grey skirt, partially hidden by the blanket draped across her body. She still looked as beautiful as ever.

She was humming and reading a book Benny had given her the last week he’d visited. It was one of her favorites, an old Jane Austin novel she’d loved in her childhood. Benny had seen it in the window of a book shop and instantly knew it was meant for her. He was glad to see her enjoying it.

“Hey Ma,” Benny said once he was close enough. His mother looked up in surprise, her eyes lighting once she took him in.

“Benny!” She sounded awed, a tone Benny was getting used to hearing. “You came!”

Benny shook his head and smiled. It looked like it was a good day for her. Two days ago he’d visited, and she’d recognized him, but she’d been fumbling with her words, and she wouldn’t stop staring. When he asked her what the matter was, she admitted she couldn’t remember his name. The tears that followed had been nearly unbearable, but no matter how much he tried to reassure her it was okay, she promised she would never forget again.

Today she remembered his name, and that was enough to make Benny smile.

He nodded and leaned down, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “I come every day, Ma,” he said softly before taking a seat beside her.

His mother smiled at him, giving no sign that she’d heard his words. Instead she held up the book he’d given her and said, “Look what I found! I know I’ve been forgetting things more and more lately, but this… I’ve told you about my elementary years, haven’t I? I used to read this every day under the oak tree in my backyard. It was such a peaceful time.”

Benny felt his smile falter, but he kept it firmly in place. He knew it’d been her favorite childhood book. But the details of her elementary years were getting mixed up with the rest of her life more often, he noticed. Before her memory had started to slip when he was a teenager, she’d told him about her old home on the coast. Her father had been a mean old drunk, and her younger years were filled with more chaos than peace. It wasn’t until she was older that her aunt and uncle pulled her out of there that her life began to grow more stable. She didn’t even discover the book until she was thirteen, and she read it through her high school years. There was an oak tree, and the times were peaceful. But it certainly wasn’t in her elementary years.

He sighed and nodded, determined to keep his spirits up. His mother would notice if he was upset.

“Yes, I remember,” he lied, and didn’t feel a shred of guilt when her eyes lit up again and she turned the pages of the book.

“So where’ve you been?” She asked curiously, giving him that blue eyed look that used to make him confess to stealing cookies when he was a boy. Now it was a teasing gesture, something that helped him relax and pretend things were a little bit normal again.

“School, work,” Benny replied and took off his hat, beating it out before settling it on his lap. “I’ve been doing real good,” he continued. “Grades are up. I’ve gotten to work on a lot of new machinery lately, and I made a few friends at the school.”

“Oh?” His Ma smiled excitedly and closed her book, leaning forward conspiratorially. “Any special handsome or beautiful faces catch your attention?”

Benny tried not to blush, but his reaction must have been humorous. She laughed and leaned back, pulling up her blanket around her shoulders and watching him in amusement.

His Ma’ had always known about Benny’s sexual nature. His first crush in kindergarten was a little girl who’d given him flowers on the playground. His next crush in first grade was a little boy, and it had not escaped Benny’s notice that none of his buddies liked boys and girls too. Benny had been unbearably shy about it and wrote an anonymous valentine’s letter. His Ma’ had found it in the trash can and fixed it up for him, telling him if he liked the boy he should do something about it. Benny had never had to fear what his mother thought about his likes and dislikes. All she’d ever cared about was whether he was happy or not. He felt that had shaped his entire life in many ways.

“His name’s Dean,” Benny replied after a brief moment.

She smiled knowingly and nodded. “What’s he like?”

Benny whistled low and fiddled with his hat, thinking over all the things he knew about his friend. Quickly becoming best friend, he thought after a moment. After he’d started giving Dean and his brother rides home from school, Benny found himself learning an immeasurable amount of details about Dean and who he was.

“He’s real good, Ma,” Benny replied with a small smile. “He has a lil’ brother, Sam. The two of them really care about each other. I think Dean would do just about anything for the kid, and he’s a really good friend. He likes classic rock, pie, even cake, but he swore me not to tell anyone.” His mother laughed, and he continued, “He’s got these really nice freckles. They make his eyes look greener, especially when the sun’s out. And he’s got the best expressions for things. He’s also got a sharp tongue, and says things exactly how he sees them. But he’s kind, and he looks out for everybody around him. We’ve got a group of friends, and he looks at all of ‘em like he looks at his little brother. Like he’s looking out for them.”

“He sounds very sweet,” she said with smile. Benny nodded and twisted his hat around, the cap of it pointing at him.

“Yeah, he is.”

“Have you asked him out yet? Told him how you feel?”

Benny blushed and shook his head hard. “I don’t think he likes boys, Ma.”

“You sure?” Her eyebrows knit together in the way that meant she was worried. “Cause you never know unless you ask. Or unless he’s already said so.”

But that was it. Dean _hadn’t_ said so. As long as Benny had known him, Dean had never said anything about his romantic life. There had been plenty of discussions about girls in general, but Dean didn’t talk about his past relationships or anything like that. Benny had just always assumed Dean was straight. He had no reason to believe otherwise. But still… It’s not like Dean ever said otherwise.

It couldn’t hurt to at least ask? Dean was his friend. They’d known each other for nearly a month now. It couldn’t hurt to just ask if Dean was into girls only. Then Benny could just go on back to being Dean’s friend and give up any pointless attractions he had before.

Benny didn’t want to give it up, but he didn’t want to pine for someone who’d never want him back either. He’d have to say something sooner or later. If only to just clear up some questions.

“Oh dear,” his mother said kindly, reaching out and patting his hand. “You need to ask him sweetie. It never does good to wallow. You should ask him when the time’s right. If he’s as good and kind as you say he is, then everything’ll be okay. I promise.”

“Yeah?” Benny said hopefully. His mother smiled and nodded.

“Yeah,” she replied. “And then if it all works out, you’ll have to bring him on over and introduce us.”

Benny hesitated, but not for a moment too long before he nodded firmly. Of course he’d have to introduce any of his significant others to his Ma.’ But at the same time, he wasn’t sure he was ready for that quite yet. Even if Dean did end up liking guys too, Benny didn’t want to just throw his situation in Dean’s face.

He wasn’t ashamed of his mother. Far from it. He couldn’t be prouder of her for taking every transition so well, hanging on and making sure Benny always saw her with a smile on her face. But he didn’t want to introduce someone to his Ma, Dean least of all, and have to explain who he was to his mother all over again. And then if Dean wanted to see her again… Benny wasn’t sure how that would go down.

Dean was a good person. He probably would take it all very well. But Benny was getting ahead of himself. He hadn’t even spoken to Dean yet. He didn’t even know if Dean _liked_ guys. And here he was imagining the two of them together, and introducing him to his _mother_.

Damn he was sunk on this guy.

“I will,” Benny said finally. His mother smiled brightly.

“Now then,” she said and leaned back. “Tell me about your other friends. You said there was a group?”

Benny perked up at that and nodded, quickly going on to tell her everything about his friends. Even if it was for the third time.

***SPN***

Dean hadn’t felt this light in a while. He wasn’t sure he even felt like this back when he was with Aaron. But it was good, and Dean held on to the feeling jealously.

Sam started to notice his good mood more and more. He kept on asking about it, always asking if it was because of Benny. Dean would always tell him to shove it and do his homework or watch TV. Anything but asking questions.

Dean was lucky though. Sam had stopped asking about Aaron and what had happened between them, content for now to believe that the relationship ended because they moved away and nothing more. Dean didn’t have the strength to talk about it. Just thinking about those days made him feel tired and heavy. He’d rather sleep for a year than have to think about what happened.

It was no one’s fault really. Just Dean’s own stupid ignorance. He’d rather leave it at that and never think about it again.

But Sam wasn’t ignorant, curse him. He saw right through Dean like it was nothing.

His good mood _was_ Benny’s fault. That stupid, southern, Benny Lafitte. Stupid Benny with his stupid blue eyes and his stupid bear face and gentle smiles and freaking perfect manners… The guy was killing him. Every night Dean went to bed convinced he wouldn’t survive till morning, just trying not to think about something Benny had said or did, or refusing to admit how red his face got every time Benny laughed at a joke Dean said, no matter how stupid Dean thought it was. Somehow Benny just seemed to like everything he said and did, and it was freaking unnerving.

Dean was so determined not to like the guy, but Benny was making that incredibly difficult. Dean was ready to flip a table in frustration. But every time he saw Benny again, that feeling would go away and he’d fall back into a steady rhythm like one he’d never known.

Again, this was nothing like Aaron. It was too easy. It was terrifyingly easy, and way too good for Dean. He certainly didn’t deserve it, but Benny made him happy. And it was getting harder to say no to himself whenever they hung out together, which was happening more and more often.

Dean wasn’t really sure how it happened. Benny would sit with him every day after school, waiting for Sam to get out of his last class, and sometimes he’d stay at their apartment and do homework with them until it was time for Dean’s shift. Then Benny would drive him over, even though it was just a few blocks away, and Dean always had to remind himself that kissing his best friend goodbye probably wasn’t appropriate.

But the image stuck firmly in his head, and Dean couldn’t help wishing he could have that. He knew he couldn’t, but the thought was always there, right in the back of his mind, and it wouldn’t _go away_.

Which brought him here, sitting in the passenger seat of Benny’s truck as they drove back to Dean’s apartment with Sammy in the backseat as they usually did now. Nothing about it was out of the ordinary, but Dean was doing everything in his power not to stare at Benny too much to be other than friendly. He wasn’t sure how well it was working though, because every time he looked back at Sam he was returned with a knowing smirk that made Dean want to jump out of the vehicle.

But then Benny was smiling and they were all singing along to Pink Floyd and Dean couldn’t imagine anything better in that moment.

Until he saw the Impala outside the apartment building. Dean felt his heart slam down from his chest and somewhere into his knees. _Shit_. Dad was home early. That couldn’t be good.

“Hey Benny,” Dean said, forcing his tone to remain calm and neutral. “You can just drop us off here.”

“You sure?” Benny looked surprised, and slightly disappointed. Dean tried not to read into it too much and nodded.

“Yeah. Right here’s good.”

“But Dean—“ Sam was saying, clearly picking up that something was wrong.

“Not now Sam,” Dean said firmly.

Benny said nothing and pulled over. Sam huffed and instantly got out of the car, leaving towards the building without so much as looking back. Dean was about to follow when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

“Everything okay, brother?” Benny asked. Dean chanced a look at him and felt his shoulders relax. Benny’s blue eyes looked softer than usual, concern lying thick in his gaze. Dean swallowed and looked away.

“Dad’s home early,” he offered simply. “Now’s probably not the right time for you two to meet or anything.” _Or ever_ , Dean thought to himself, but Benny’s eyes narrowed and he nodded.

“Sure thing. Will ya’ need a ride later?” He asked. Dean shook his head.

“No. But if you could head over to the store and let them know I won’t be coming in tonight, I’d really appreciate it.”

“You got it,” Benny smiled reassuringly. Dean felt some of the tension leave him and nodded.

“Thanks. Seriously, you have no idea how much that means to me.”

“I get it,” Benny replied. “You should head on up before Sam starts looking for you.”

Dean nodded once more and grabbed his bag. He hopped out of the truck and waved goodbye as Benny’s truck pulled away.

Dean didn’t waste a second before rushing into the building, hurdling himself up the stairs until he stood in front of their door. It was unlocked when Dean turned the knob and stepped inside.

John stood in the kitchen. The microwave was running and he was staring at it intently. Sam was nowhere to be seen, but the door to their bedroom was shut tightly. It seemed Sam was still hell bent on not talking to their father.

“Hey Dad,” Dean said, careful to keep the lingering surprise out of his voice. John grunted in response and didn’t speak until the timer beeped.

As he pulled out whatever microwave dinner he’d made, he said simply, “Who’s your friend?”

Dean swallowed and watched John set the food down on the table. There were two plates, both filled with food. Dean wondered if Sam had stolen his own plate before hiding in his room. It wasn’t often that their Dad made dinner.

“His name’s Benny,” Dean replied, going for coolness as he set his things down by the front door. He had no idea how John knew about his friend, and he wasn’t about to ask either. He walked into the kitchen and looked at the table.

It was a simple microwave-made meat and potatoes dinner. Definitely not bad, but bought recently. Dean didn’t remember those being on his shopping list. John must have had extra money since he didn’t go to the bar.

“Benny, huh?” John asked. He sounded calm, honestly curious. Dean wondered if John was going for an angle or if he really was just interested in who Dean’s friends were. But it didn’t make Dean any less wary as John motioned for him to sit and eat.

“Yeah,” Dean replied vaguely and did as he was told. “He transferred in from Louisiana last month. He’s joined our group of friends.”

“As in more than one friend?” John asked. Dean mentally slapped himself. He’d forgotten. He hadn’t told his Dad anything about his school life. He had no idea about Charlie, Kevin, Garth, Cas, or Benny.

“Yeah. There’s six of us, me included,” Dean replied and started to pick at his food. “We all share a lot of the same classes, so we get along well.”

“Do you all give each other rides places?” John asked. Dean’s fork hesitated in his potatoes and he stared, trying to think up some excuse, make it sound normal and ordinary for friends to give each other rides. But Dean’s silence stretched too long, and he could see John’s gaze narrowing.

“So it’s just Benny, then.”

Dean didn’t have an answer for that.

“You two together?” John asked, and Dean didn’t miss the hint of anger in his tone.

He instantly moved to reassure, “No, no. We’re just friends. He’s straight Dad, I promise.”

John looked stiff in his seat. Dean could see the gears turning in his head, putting two and two together, deciding if he believed the outcome was truthful or not. Dean held still, waiting patiently until John’s shoulders began to drop and his eyes went down to his food again.

“Good man,” John said after a moment. Dean tried not to bristle at the comment, knowing full well that John wasn’t talking about his son. Benny was the good man. Benny was straight. That made him _good_.

Dean’s jaw tightened and he stared at his plate, appetite lost. But John was watching him again, so Dean ate slowly until John finished and got up to go watch TV with a beer. Dean immediately threw what was left of his food in the trash and washed the dishes, determinedly not thinking about anything until the cleaning was done and Dean was safely locked in the bathroom.

He pulled out his phone and saw he had a text from Benny. The corners of his lips turned up as he read, “ _Delivered your message. Manager wants more of a head’s up next time. Although by his tone, it might be a ‘head’s off’ next time._ ”

Dean shook his head and replied, “ _Yeah. Tonight caught me by surprise. Won’t happen again._ ”

“ _Why do I get the feeling that message ain’t just for the manager?_ ”

Dean bit his lip and shook his head. Leave it to Benny to see right through his words. He typed slowly.

“ _Sorry. Like I said, now’s probably not the right time to meet my old man, you know?_ ”

“ _I know_ ,” Benny’s return text read. “ _We all got our ‘old man’s. Don’t worry about that, brother. Just text me if you need me_.”

Dean stared at the last few words of the message, silently digesting them. _If you need me_. Well, what was Benny’s definition of ‘need?’ Because if he knew Dean’s definition, he might have phrased that differently.

But it didn’t stop Dean from replying _,_ “ _I will. Thanks Benny. I seriously owe you one._ ”

“ _You don’t owe me nothing_.”

Dean’s heart beat a little faster. He pressed the phone to his chest and sighed heavily. This guy was going to kill him. If his Dad didn’t first.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts? I hope you guys liked it. If you have any comments, please leave them below! I love hearing from you guys. You seriously brighten up my day. 
> 
> Thank you for reading! See you guys tomorrow.


	7. Clarity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alastair makes his comeback. Benny finds out about Dean's sexual orientation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good grief guys, I didn't think I'd get that many comments on that last chapter. Thank you guys so much! Seriously, I was so overwhelmed. Thank you for commenting and leaving your thoughts. You seriously have no idea how motivating it is for me to hear from you. And all of your comments yesterday were awesome. So thank you for taking the time to do that.
> 
> This chapter was a bit harder to write than I thought it would be. But it's about time Benny found out Dean's bi, right? So here's Chapter 7. 
> 
> Some minor warnings for talk about homophobia and bullying.

“Hey brother,” Benny said when Dean and Sam came out of the apartment the next morning. He wasn’t sure Dean would want him to come after last night. But one text had him in his truck five minutes later.

Dean was smiling, but it looked subdued. Sam looked to be his usual self, leaving Benny confused as to what happened with their father. Whatever happened, it seemed to have only affected Dean.

The thought had Benny’s gut rolling in an unpleasant way. From Dean’s expression the afternoon before, when he saw the Impala and realized their father was home, Benny knew that the relationship there wasn’t the best kind. He’d hoped that it was just some kind of strain, but Benny recognized that look in his friend’s eyes. It was one Benny used to have in his younger years. Back when his own ‘old man’ had been in his life, before he’d jumped into his boat on Benny’s twelfth birthday and sailed out, never to come back. Benny hated to think it, but it was probably the best birthday gift he’d ever gotten.

“Hey Benny,” Sam said with a grin. He didn’t hesitate to jump into his usual spot in the back. Benny opened the passenger door for Dean, wishing it didn’t feel so damn cheesy, but Dean smiled and nodded curtly, not even noticing the gesture as he climbed in and got settled. Benny closed the door and walked around to get in the front.

The drive was quieter than usual, the silence only filled with Sam’s school chatter and the radio. Benny cast worried glances in Dean’s reaction, but Dean stared straight ahead. He didn’t glance back once.

Benny’s worry only increased when they arrived at the school. Sam jumped out almost immediately with a, “See ya’ Benny!” Dean got out silently, but didn’t start walking until Benny came around to stand beside him.

“Everything okay?” Benny asked on their way to the doors. Dean shrugged and muttered something under his breath.

“What?” Benny asked. Dean’s eyes narrowed and he shoved open the front door of the school.

“I said I’m fine,” he said firmly.

“Hate to call you out on that, but you don’t look fine, Dean.”

Dean didn’t answer and led them toward their lockers. Benny knew they were going to see Charlie and the crew in a few minutes, which meant his window was closing for answers. The moment they showed up, Dean was going to close off completely. Benny would be lucky if he got any answers out of his friend. And by the look on his friend’s face, that might not be such a good idea. Whatever was stuck in his head didn’t look happy or pleasant.

“Well how about this,” Dean snapped, causing Benny to jump. “I’ll _be_ fine. I don’t want to talk about it right now, Benny.”

“But you will talk to me about it?” Benny asked, hoping he read into that correctly. Dean stopped and stared at him intently. He didn’t answer right away, but Benny could see him thinking it over. The thought alone was comforting. Dean cared enough to consider it, trusted him enough to think about it. That was really all Benny could ask for, he reasoned.

Before Dean could open his mouth again to speak, a voice called out beyond them, “Oh _look_ , the lovebirds are finally having a lover’s quarrel!”

Benny felt his skin crawl as he turned to glare at Alastair and his friends. They were all grinning icily at them and walking their way. Benny fought down the desire to move in front of Dean, get in the way of their nearly predatory stares.

“What do ya’ want, Alastair?” Benny growled.

Alastair rubbed his chin thoughtfully and grinned. “Just thought it was interesting. You two have been inseparable for nearly a month now. Everybody figured you guys were dating or rutting, or whatever it is you two get up to when you’re alone.”

Benny was torn between seething and flushing red in embarrassment. He dared to glance at Dean, and was surprised to see Dean’s face go pale and his body stiff. He looked… terrified. But why?

Benny turned his attention back to Alastair, who was positively _beaming_ at their reactions.

“Ah, so definitely something going on between the two of you. I knew it.”

“Shut your face or I’ll shut it for you,” Dean finally snarled, catching Benny by surprise again. His friend’s face was still unusually light, but whatever had shocked him seemed to have passed, and now he had a laser focus on the bully in front of them.

Benny thought it odd. Alastair hadn’t bothered anyone much over the past month, never getting farther than some nasty remarks as people passed him, but otherwise he’d kept to himself. This was the first time he’d confronted someone, let alone him and Dean. He must have been waiting for something.

Whatever it was, he seemed to have found it. And his slithering smile hadn’t faltered once.

“Oh, feisty. Defending your boyfriend, Winchester?” Alastair crooned.

“We’re not together,” Benny said finally, his tone low and firm. He wasn’t in the mood for a fight. He wanted to talk to Dean, figure out what was bothering him this morning. And now Alastair was causing even more trouble. He wanted to get away, and fast. But Dean looked immovable, and Alastair wasn’t going anywhere either. Benny was forced to stay.

“Please, the way he looks at you?” Alastair nodded to Dean, who visibly grew more uncomfortable by the second.

Benny only briefly glanced at him before replying tiredly, “In case it’s escaped your notice, he ain’t on that team. I wonder if the same could be said for you?” Benny grinned when Alastair scowled at him and took a menacing step forward.

“I’m not like you _freaks_ ,” Alastair hissed. Benny raised an eyebrow.

“Says the guy who picks on others to make up for his inadequacy,” Benny replied. Alastair’s gaze narrowed. Benny wasn’t sure how it happened, but soon enough they were sharing the same space, their bodies only inches from each other. Dean stood close to his side, his expression just as dark as Alastair’s.

“You trying to make a point?” Alastair growled. “Then _make it_. Or at least let your little rut partner stand up for himself.”

“That’s it you bitch,” Dean growled, and before either of them could react Alastair’s head snapped back and blood shot out from his nose. Benny stared, shocked by the sudden flash of anger. Dean was seething, his body shaking in rage. Benny put a hand on his shoulder and held him back before Dean could march forward for another hit.

“Dean, stop,” he said softly. Dean shook his head.

“Let me go, Benny.”

“ _Now ain’t the time_ ,” Benny hissed and used both of his hands to pull Dean back. Dean cursed at him and flailed his arms, throwing weak hits at him until Benny had pulled them both safely around the corner.

“Let me _go_!” Dean suddenly screamed and Benny was forced to release his friend. Dean pulled away roughly. His shoulders were still shaking, but one look at his face showed Benny he wasn’t just angry anymore. He looked tired, and embarrassed. Unshed tears shone in his eyes, and Benny felt his heart slam against his rib cage. Shit he messed up.

“I’m sorry Dean, but that _really_ wasn’t the time. We can get back at him later, I promise. But I don’t want you getting in trouble for that bastard’s taunts. Understand?”

Dean stared at him. His lips were pulled into a thin line, barely concealing his pent up emotion. “I wanna’ kill him,” he said finally, his voice quiet, playing on the edge of control as he stared at Benny intently. “I wanna’ smack his head right off his shoulders, Benny.”

“I know it,” Benny replied gently. “And I’d happily join ya.’ But now’s not the right time. We can get him at another time. Just not now.”

Dean nodded slowly and looked away. He still looked mad, but Benny could see it slowly leaking out of him.

“You okay?” Benny asked after a few moments of heavy silence. Dean shook his head and ran a hand over his face.

“I… No. No, I’m not. Honestly this entire day’s just shit right now,” he said shakily. He looked back at Benny and his eyes were shiny. Benny frowned, wishing he knew how to make it better. But something else didn’t feel right about the situation they’d just found themselves in. If Dean was straight, why was he panicking so much? He couldn’t be that insecure. Dean was one of the boldest guys he knew. It didn’t add up.

“Was it what he said?” Benny asked cautiously, knowing he was stepping into dangerous territory. “Cause if it makes you feel better, it doesn’t matter what or who people like. It’s totally fine.”

“No it’s not!” Dean exclaimed. Benny flinched. He hadn’t expected _that_. Dean must have recognized the pain in Benny’s face, and quickly went on, “I mean, no, I get its fine. It’s okay, it’s just… it’s not okay for _me_ , okay?”

What the hell was that supposed to mean? Benny stared at him, trying to figure out what was going on in his friend’s head. “I don’t think I’m understanding what you’re saying, brother.”

Dean groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose. The tired look was back, and Dean started to pace in front of him. It was a few moments before he stopped and said quietly, “I can’t like guys Benny. My Dad…”

And like the last puzzle piece, it all came together. Benny frowned deeply, this time not out of confusion but sadness. So it wasn’t about Dean being straight or bi or gay. He _couldn’t_. And it was all because of his father, the same guy Dean had freaked out about last night.

Benny bit his tongue, determined not to say anything until Dean was finished.

“Look, I like guys. I like girls too. Hell, I’ve loved girls for as long as I can remember. But guys are just… you know. They’re just as awesome too. But my Dad… he doesn’t see it like that. I don’t know if he’s just sexist or homophobic, but he hates that I swing both ways. And so I _can’t_. It’s girls or bust, man. There’s nothing else for it.”

“Have you ever… had a boyfriend?” Benny asked, waving a hand at the air. Dean shook his head.

“Let’s just say the first time was the last time. I was making out with a guy from my school and my Dad caught us. He chased the guy out and threatened to get his shot gun. It was the longest night of my life.” A dark look crossed Dean’s face and it made Benny’s heart hurt. “You gotta’ keep this between us, Benny. I trust you, more than anybody else right now. And I don’t want it getting around that I’m bi. Cause then my Dad’ll find out somehow and then he’ll probably make us move again or something.”

“Your secret’s safe with me,” Benny said firmly. Dean looked up at him. His eyes still looked wet, but there was a glimmer that wasn’t there before. It looked something like hope.

“Yeah,” he sniffed and cracked a weak smile. “But what about you? You strictly into girls or something?”

Benny laughed. “Let’s just say I like whoever I like. It doesn’t matter much what they look like or what parts they have.”

Dean laughed too, and it was the best sound Benny had heard all day.

“Thanks Benny,” Dean said finally and put a hand on Benny’s shoulder. Benny instantly froze, warmth spreading through his body at the touch. Dean smiled at him and pulled away all too soon, leaving Benny breathless and wishing he could just reach out and hug the younger man.

But the warning bell rang, and their simultaneous curse had them rushing for their lockers before class. Benny tried not to notice Dean glancing at him more often during the lessons that day. And if he glanced at Dean more often too, Dean made no comment on it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys liked the chapter! Since tomorrow's Saturday, I don't know if I'll be able to update again or not. I'll try my best though. See you guys at the next update! Please leave a comment with your thoughts if you have some free time. 
> 
> Thank you!


	8. All This Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and John get in a fight. Benny helps after the fallout.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking so long to update today guys! This is by far the longest chapter of this story... but I needed to get this all out in one chapter, and it would have looked a little weird if I split it up in the parts necessary to make it work. 
> 
> So here you go! One freakishly long chapter... I promise it's good though. So I hope you all like it!
> 
> Warning for the chapter: homophobic/sexist talking.
> 
> (also, apologies for any mistakes i missed. writing on the weekends can be hard for me because my dad's home and he's not homophobic as in fear of gay things/people, so much as he just doesn't approve of anything gay. like, at all. so i have to be careful in my writing. but hey! got this done, just didn't have time for editing. i hope you guys like it anyway.)

Dean felt like he was floating. He caught himself humming _Ramble On_ four times in the past hour alone, and he couldn’t remember the last time he smiled so often at work.

It had been a few weeks since Benny found out he was bi. And ever since Dean had never felt more relaxed around his friend. Dean immediately went and told Sam about what happened, and Sam had been completely supportive and happy for him. But he also promised to keep the secret as well.

“I get it, Dean,” Sam had said with a grin. “I just care if you’re happy or not. I won’t tell anyone if you don’t want me to. I promise.”

Dean hadn’t stopped thinking about it since then. True to both of their words, Benny and Sam had kept their silence. Every once in a while Dean and Benny would talk about guys and girls while they were alone, but nothing ever too serious.

It was oddly reassuring. While girls had hardly ever been the main subjects of their many talks together, there was something releasing and comforting about not having to hide anymore. Benny knew he liked guys too. It made him feel safe knowing that someone else knew and didn’t judge him for it. Hell, Benny even liked guys.

Dean felt like there was very little left to fear anymore. All that was left was his Dad’s opinion. But Dean was determined not to let him find out about Benny’s orientation. Dean was already walking a thin line with John, and making him worry even more about his and Benny’s relationship was the last thing Dean wanted or needed.

He needed to keep their growing friendship a secret. It was already bad enough that they were getting so close. John would hate the idea of Dean being friends with someone like him, but he’d probably kill him if he knew Dean _liked_ him too.

Dean frowned at the thought and quickly shook it away. He couldn’t think about that now. He had to finish his shift and hurry home before his Dad could beat him there.

John had been coming home earlier lately, ever since he learned about Benny. He was never home before nine. But it only left Dean a little time to make sure Sam was at least in bed and asleep before John came swaggering (or staggering) in.

When it finally hit the hour and Dean put away his vest, he all but ran home. There were more curb-dwellers than usual that night, but Dean paid them no attention and hurried his way inside. The Impala wasn’t anywhere in sight, so that meant he still had a little time.

All was quiet in the apartment. The door to Sam and Dean’s room was open, allowing Dean a quick glance inside. Sam had fallen asleep with his phone by his head. Three guesses he’d been texting Jess. The thought made Dean smile as he gently closed the door behind him and walked back to the living room to turn the TV on low.

Things had been strained between Dean and John since Benny. But Dean’s nightly duties to help his Dad hadn’t ceased because of it. If anything, Dean had grown even more attentive. John didn’t say anything, and if he noticed he didn’t comment. But instead of just the nightly ice pack, water, and Advil, now Dean was checking to make sure there were pillows and blankets in the living room within easy reach of the couches. Anything that might make John’s night a little easier, Dean was determined to take care of. Even if it would never do anything to lessen John’s anger or distaste for all things ‘unnatural.’

John came in an hour and a half later. He was still earlier than his usual midnight to eleven entrance, but it was still late in the evening.

His Dad only grunted when he spotted Dean on the couch, and moved silently into the kitchen. Dean muted the TV and stood, following his father into the next room. It seemed like it’d be a silent and sober night. Or at the very least, vaguely sober.

“Anything I can get for you?” Dean asked quietly from the doorway. John picked through the refrigerator and pulled out a couple of beers.

“Nothing you’ll give me,” John replied simply and popped off the lid. Dean watched him warily.

So it looked like Dean wasn’t the only one still hung up on the Benny problem. John still hadn’t let it go. This was why Dean was hoping for another drunk night. That was easier to handle than a quietly aware John Winchester determined and hell-bent on the truth. The truth that Dean was never going to admit to. Least of all to John.

Dean didn’t know what to say, so he opted for silence and nodded. “I’ll head off then.”

He didn’t get a chance to turn his back before John called, “Hey!” Dean froze and looked back at him.

“Yeah?” Dean asked hesitantly.

John frowned at him. The lines on his face doubled and Dean wanted to run back to his room and escape. But John wasn’t in the mood, and Dean wasn’t an idiot. John knew it too.

“Don’t play dumb with me, Dean.” John spoke slowly, his gaze fixed firmly on Dean’s. “I wanna’ know what’s really going on between you and that _Benny_ kid.”

Dean fought down the urge to roll his eyes, instead remaining as still and quiet as possible. “He’s not a kid, Dad. There’s nothing going on between us. I told you, we’re just friends.”

“Friends that spend all their time together?”

“Yes!”

John’s lips pulled back, either a snarl or a smile, he probably hadn’t decided yet. John looked disbelieving, but turned his attention back to his beer. “I saw you two the other day at the school. Driving past on my break. You two were sitting out on the grass. And let’s just say, you two were sitting awfully close to be _just friends_.”

Dean didn’t dignify that with an answer. He looked away and frowned as John continued, “Don’t play me for a fool, Dean! I ain’t blind. Do you think you’re the first person in the world to look at someone his or her own gender and think no one else will notice. People notice Dean, and people don’t like it.”

“What does it matter what people think?” Dean asked, exasperated. “It’s not about what other people think, Dad. Doesn’t it just matter what _they_ think?”

“I won’t have it,” John said firmly and took a long drink. “It’s not natural.”

“Why not?” Dean asked tiredly. John’s eyes narrowed.

“It’s not like that Dean,” he replied finally. “There’s a reason it’s supposed to be man and woman. Besides, I want you safe.”

“What? Like a girl can’t hurt a guy? That’s _sexist_.”

“It’s not natural!”

“And _that’s_ homophobic!” Dean wasn’t sure when their voices started rising, but he wasn’t sure he could stop now. He had no idea what was even _happening_. He never did this. He never fought with John if he could help it. It only made all their lives more miserable than it already was, and made it even more difficult to pretend everything was normal.

John and Sam were already walking a thin line with each other. The least Dean could do was try to make things easier for them. But no, instead he was in a shouting match with his father over something that was never going to change.

“It doesn’t matter!” John roared and slammed his bottle down on the counter. Dean barely flinched as John moved closer to him, looming over him with his full height that barely surpassed Dean’s own. “I’m not blind, Dean. Far from it. And I see the way you look at him, and I don’t care what you say about him, he’s looking at you too. And there ain’t nothing straight about it. You keep your distance from him, you hear me?”

Dean seethed and clenched his fists. “He’s not my only friend, Dad. I have a lot of friends, and every single one of us are hanging out together all the time. If I distance myself from him, I distance myself from _everyone_. Is that what you want?” He was barely containing himself, rage ready to unleash at any second.

John didn’t look any different. “I don’t care,” he replied through his teeth. “He’s a problem, and I’m tired of fixing all your _mistakes_. Especially after that one kid. What was his name, _Aaron_?”

Dean glared, biting his tongue before he could say something he’d _really_ regret.

“What is it about them that attracts you so much, anyway?” John asked, incredulous. “How could any man possibly want a dick up his own ass?”

“Shut _up_!” Dean shouted. Heat roared into his cheeks, and he swore he was seeing red.

Before he could say anything else, a sound echoed from behind him. Both men whirled around to see Sam in the doorway, disgruntled and clearly only minutes out of sleep.

“Dean?” He said cautiously, watching both of them warily. “What’s going on?”

Dean’s jaw tightened and he glanced between the two. “Nothing. It’s nothing.”

“Does Sam know?” John bit. “You conspiring with him about your little affairs?”

“What?” Sam asked in confusion, but Dean was already backing away.

“No!” He exclaimed. “No, God Dad. Don’t make this like I’m doing this to get back at you for Aaron! It was never like that!”

“Then what is it like?” John roared.

“It’s… It’s _nothing_! God, can’t you just accept there’s nothing happening between me and Benny?”

“Not when something clearly is!”

Dean clenched his teeth and walked away.

“Don’t turn your back on me!” John called, but Dean wasn’t listening. He grabbed his coat and tugged it on roughly. He wasn’t staying for this. Not when John wouldn’t listen to anyone or anything except his beer and his own delusions.

It didn’t even matter if Dean liked Benny. John was making it like they were secretly dating or something. Sure he and Benny were pretty much on the same team, but Dean knew for a fact Benny didn’t like him _like that_. Sure, he liked to imagine some of Benny’s looks could be the beginnings of something more, but Dean wasn’t that stupid. He wouldn’t jump to conclusions when there was nothing there.

And staying here, listening to his Dad accuse him of anything and everything was the last thing on Dean’s to-do list of the night.

“I’m going out,” Dean bit and grabbed the door. “Don’t wait up.” He didn’t listen to any protest that followed and slammed the door shut behind him.

 

He wasn’t really sure how he got there, but one hour later Dean found himself sitting in the downtown park. He’d wandered for as long as he could before his legs got tired and he gave out on the park bench. But now he was stuck in the most deserted part of town in the middle of the night, and there was no way in hell he was going back home. He doubted he’d go back at all unless he had to, and that’d only be to pick up Sam for school in the morning. And he might not even do that, instead meet Sam at school to avoid any chance of running into his Dad again.

But Benny usually drove them… _Shit_ , Dean thought and hit himself in the forehead. He’d have to text Benny. He’d rather not. Sam could just explain everything to their friend in the morning. But then Benny would learn about the fight, that Dean ran away… Damn. This was embarrassing.

Dean took a measured breath, watching puffs of air grow in front of his face. It was freezing cold. He’d have to find someplace warm to hide out for the night. It wasn’t like he’d never done this kind of thing before, but it never got any easier.

Dean leaned back against the park bench and sighed. A thought occurred to him but he quickly pushed it away. He could always just call Benny; ask him to pick him up. But one look at his watch told him it was nearly midnight. Benny had to be out like a light. And he didn’t want to put that kind of pressure on his best friend. What kind of friend would he be? Texting Benny in the middle of the night, ‘ _Hey, hope you’re still up. Would you mind picking me up? I ran away from home because of my homophobic Dad accusing me of dating you to get back at him for ruining my last relationship._ ’ Yeah, Dean imagined that conversation would go over _awesomely_.

But no matter how much Dean pushed the thought away, it kept coming back until Dean found his phone in his hand, staring at Benny’s phone number on the screen.

“Hell,” Dean muttered. What did he have to lose anyway?

Dean pressed the button and brought the phone to his ear, listening to it ring. It only echoed five or six times before Benny’s sleepy, grumbly voice answered, “ _Dean?_ ”

He felt a spike of something warm in his chest. He imagined Benny in bed, cradling the phone between his ear and the sheets. The thought stirred something odd inside him, and he quickly shook the image away.

“Uh… hey Benny,” Dean said after a brief moment of silence. “I, uh… I know you’re probably sleeping, but do you think I could, uh…”

“ _Whatcha’ need, Dean?_ ” Benny said. His voice was slow and smooth, steadily waking up from the sleep Dean cruelly ripped from him.

He felt a short pang of guilt before replying, “Can I crash at your place tonight? I got in a fight with my Dad and ran out. I don’t have anywhere to go—“

“ _Where you at, brother?_ ” Benny interrupted. He heard the sound of moving sheets and feet across floorboards.

“The park downtown. I don’t remember the name of it…”

“ _Doesn’t matter_ ,” Benny replied, “ _I know it. I’ll be there in ten minutes. You good?_ ”

“I’m fine,” Dean replied. _For now_ , he wanted to add, but kept silent. He was still getting over the fact he actually _called_ Benny. He could worry about any awkwardness or uncertainty later. Right now the only thing he cared about was getting warm and maybe getting some sleep tonight. “You got a couch I can crash on?”

“ _I’ll do you one better_ ,” Benny replied. “ _Just hang on. I’m coming._ ”

“Thanks Benny,” Dean said. He heard a laugh over the line.

“ _No need to thank me, Dean. It’s what friends do, right?_ ”

“Sure,” Dean laughed nervously, his Dad’s words echoing in his head. _He looks at you too_. He pushed the thought away. Now wasn’t the time to second guess himself, or if there was anything genuinely going on between them.

 _One thing at a time, Winchester_ , Dean told himself firmly. _One thing at a time_.

True to Benny’s word, his truck rumbled up ten minutes later. Benny hopped out a moment later and walked toward Dean on the park bench.

Benny looked like he’d taken very little time between getting from his bed to the truck. He was still wearing stripped blue and grey pajama bottoms, a long sleeved navy blue shirt, and his usual dark overcoat. The only sign he’d put thought into where he was going were the boots on his feet.

“Hey Dean,” Benny grinned when he was close enough. But his smile faltered when he took in Dean’s appearance. “Guess you were expecting to be out here as much as I was.”

Dean looked down, just now realizing he was dressed fairly similarly. “Yeah. It was kind of a spur the moment thing.”

“That bad of a fight, huh?” At Dean’s nod, Benny waved a hand for Dean to follow him. “Well then, better get you someplace warm. Hope you weren’t out in the cold too long.”

Dean shook his head and climbed into the passenger seat, not feeling up to mentioning his hour long walk in the night.

The drive was quiet. For once, Benny didn’t turn on the radio, leaving them both to sit in silence for nearly the entire ride until a decent sized house came up ahead of them. It was a family home, painted yellow with flowers lining the steps up to the door.

“That’s your house?” Dean didn’t mean to sound surprised, but it certainly wasn’t what he expected. Benny pulled into the driveway and nodded.

“Ma’ liked the friendly feel of it. Can’t say I disagreed.” He smiled at Dean kindly and climbed out. Dean followed close behind him, staying quiet and taking in their surroundings.

Inside the house was just as beautiful. It had welcoming colors and a warm layout that instantly filled Dean with a feeling of _home_. His eyes drifted to the couch, wondering if that was the spot he’d be sleeping for the night.

“Benny,” he said, breaking the silence as Benny hung up their coats on the rack. “I really appreciate this, what you’re doing for me. You didn’t have to.”

“Course I did,” Benny replied. “You’re my friend. There’s no way I’d leave you out there by yourself.”

“You sure I’m not imposing or anything? Is your Mom okay with this?”

A strange look crossed Benny’s face and he shook his head. “She’s… not here right now. But trust me, she wouldn’t mind. She always loved visitors.”

“You better not be just saying that on my account,” Dean said with a weak grin. Benny patted his shoulder and shook his head.

“Never,” he replied. “Now, you hungry? Or are you just hankering for some sleep?”

“Uh, I’m good.”

“Ya’ sure? Warm milk is always a pretty nice bedtime snack?”

“If you’re making some, I won’t turn you down,” Dean finally caved. Benny grinned and walked to the kitchen.

Dean could see him work from the living room thanks to the open layout of the house. He didn’t have anything with him, so he sat on the couch and watched his friend pull out the milk and glasses. It only took a few minutes before Benny was coming back to the living room. He handed Dean the first glass, and he accepted it warmly, relishing the way it warmed his hands. He took a sip of it and groaned. He’d never actually tried the old ‘warm milk’ trick before. He was regretting it now as he took another long drink.

Benny sat beside him on the couch, sighing as he took a sip from his own glass. “Yeah,” he chuckled. “Definitely needed some of that myself.”

Dean grinned and wiped his lip, licking the excess milk off his finger so he didn’t look like a slob and wipe his hand on his pants, or something equally embarrassing. He heard a sudden inhale from Benny, and he looked over in surprise. Benny was staring at him intently, that narrow eyed look that he gave sometimes. Dean had never been able to recognize it before, but after tonight’s fight, he almost dared to believe Benny could…

No, he looked away sharply and took another drink, painfully aware of how close they were sitting together. They always sat this close after school, but again, his thoughts were too loud and he felt restless and paranoid.

“You okay there, Dean?” Benny asked. Dean could hear the concern in his voice. He felt bad and set his nearly empty glass down on a coaster.

“Yeah, I’m good. Just a long night, you know?”

Benny nodded in understanding. “You wanna’ talk about it?”

Dean shook his head and rubbed his palms on his legs. “Not really. Just the typical homophobic bullshit I should have expected. I should have known better than to fight with him about it.”

“What brought it up in the first place?” Benny asked. Dean froze and kept his eyes fixed on the coffee table.

“I… I’d really not like to talk about it, if that’s okay.”

Benny looked disappointed, but nodded slowly. “I can respect that, no problem,” he said kindly. “Now, you can take my room. I’ll take my Ma’s room since she’s out, and everything’ll be great. Sound good to you?”

Dean stared at him and bit his lip. “You sure? I swear, I can take the couch. I’ve done it lots of times growing up, it’s no big deal—“

“Dean,” Benny raised a hand, “I insist. Come on, let me show you the room first.”

Dean followed Benny down the hall to the first room on the left. It was a nice room. Way nicer than his and Sam’s. But that didn’t mean anything to Dean.

It looked like Benny’s room, all the way from the colors and furnishings to the posters of the sea and the books on his shelves. Dean ran a finger over the classic _Old Man and the Sea_ and laughed.

“Seriously? I mean, it’s totally you, but really?” Dean held it up and watched a small smile spread across Benny’s face.

“It’s a bit sadder than that, _cher_ ,” he took the book from Dean’s hands and touched it gently. “Whenever my own old man ran away to the sea, I liked to pretend he was a different man. One like him, the true, _good_ old man that loved the sea and loved what he did. Not some old drunk who couldn’t recognize what he already had right in front of his face.”

Dean stared at him, his heart hurting for his best friend. But all too soon, the look passed from Benny’s face and he put the book back.

“But yeah, it’s a favorite. I live for irony.”

Dean raised an eyebrow. A sudden thought occurred to him, and he asked, “ _Cher_?”

Benny’s eyebrows rose high on his forehead, and Dean was surprised to see a blush touch his friend’s cheeks.

“Did I say that?” Embarrassment crossed his face and he rubbed the back of his neck nervously. “Eh… don’t worry about it.”

“What’s it mean?” Dean asked, unable to help the smirk that grew across his face. If possible, Benny blushed further and shook his head.

“Call it a term of endearment. From one friend to another.”

Dean highly doubted that. But he didn’t call him out on it, either from fear of what it really _could_ mean, or just for the sake of kindness for his floundering friend. He tried not to read into it too much, despite how much his mind tried to work to figure it out.

“Will this work alright?” Benny asked, changing the subject quickly. Dean nodded and looked around the room once more.

“It’ll be perfect. Seriously, thank you Benny.”

“Don’t mention it,” Benny smiled. He turned to leave, motioning further down the hall.

“I’ll be at the end on the right. If you need anything, that’s where I’ll be.”

Before he could turn to leave, Dean was struck by how kind Benny was being to him. He didn’t have to do this. Dean could name lots of old friends he’d had over the years, all of whom who’d probably never have answered his call, let alone let him stay in their room for the night. But Benny hadn’t even pressured him for answers, and answered as soon as he woke up.

Dean sure as hell didn’t deserve the kindness, but he felt wrong leaving Benny with nothing. He deserved to at least know why Dean was inconveniencing him. He owed that to him, right?

“Wait,” he called, flinching and closing his eyes before Benny turned back. By the time his eyes opened, Benny was back in the doorway, watching Dean with worried blue eyes.

“Yeah, Dean?” He asked. Dean bit his lip again and willed himself to speak.

“I, uh… The fight, with my Dad. He… He thought you and I were together.” A strange look crossed Benny’s face, but Dean ignored it and quickly continued, “I tried to lie and tell him you were straight, you know? But he wouldn’t believe me. He thought there was something going on between us and wouldn’t listen to me, no matter what I said. So I got mad and left. I… I really am sorry, I didn’t want to do this to you.”

Benny looked confused. “Do what to me? You don’t have to apologize Dean, you know I’d drop anything for ya’ if you needed me.”

When Dean didn’t respond, a sad look crossed Benny’s face. “Oh,” he sighed, running a hand over his face. “Dean… I’d do anything for you. I do mean that.”

“Why?” Dean asked. “It’s not like I’ve done an awful lot for you. I owe you so much and I—“

“Hey now,” Benny raised his hands and took a few steps into the room. “Remember what I told you? You don’t owe me anything.”

Dean shifted uncomfortably, suddenly feeling trapped in his own skin. He didn’t know what he wanted to do. Part of him was terrified. He’d just told Benny the truth, that his Dad thought something was going on between them, and Benny hadn’t freaked out or demanded to know if it was true, if Dean even liked him. Instead he was telling Dean that he didn’t owe him? That he meant everything he did out of the goodness of his own heart?

People were not that kind. He knew Benny wasn’t perfect. No human was. But Benny was cutting it pretty damn close. A part of him wanted to run from the kindness, another part of him was desperate to get closer and bask in the warmth of Benny’s words.

“That’s a lie and you know it,” Dean grumbled.

Amusement played at the corners of Benny’s lips and he shook his head. “It really isn’t. I care about you, Dean. An awful lot.”

They were standing close now, barely a foot apart. Dean swallowed hard and tried not to stare at Benny’s face, determinedly looking everywhere else. “Yeah? Keep talking like that and my Dad will never shut up about our ‘romance.’”

Benny looked nervous, and Dean suddenly realized what that expression meant. Before he could say a word, Benny spoke first.

“Would that… be so terrible?”

Dean stared at him. Benny stared back. Something finally clicked in Dean’s mind and an enormous grin spread across his face.

“Hell no.” And with that, he grabbed Benny by his shirt and pulled him forward.

Benny froze and it was awkward as hell, and definitely not the best kiss Dean had ever had. But it was scruffy and perfect and full of _Benny_ and Dean couldn’t imagine anything better. He tilted his head, pressing a second kiss against Benny’s lips, and in an instant Benny was with the program, kissing him back with a passion Dean had barely experienced before.

That second kiss was _definitely_ the best kiss Dean ever had. As was the third, and the fourth, and every kiss after. Dean was floating on air.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heheheh.... you like? you love? please let me know! i think there will only be another chapter or two left now. hang with me guys, we're almost there!


	9. And Then... There Were Two.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Benny are together. But there's still John to deal with, and Dean's finally ready to face his father about his orientation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry again for taking a long time to update today... My day was crazy busy and I didn't even have time to write till this evening. I only did some brief editing, so I hope it all looks the way it's supposed to.
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy it!

Dean groaned and rolled over, half consciously reaching out and spreading his fingers through the blue sheets he lay on. A warm mass of body stopped him though, and Dean blearily opened his eyes, grinning at what he saw.

Benny was completely out of it, snoring slightly with his face red from sleep and warmth. Dean resisted the temptation to reach out and run his fingers through Benny’s bedhead, instead watching Benny carefully and considering all that had happened the previous night.

First the fight with his Dad, then coming to Benny’s house, and their conversation after… Their starting kisses had turned into a large number of kisses, resulting in them falling into bed together and making out like the horny teenagers they were. Grinding had been included, but they’d both remained fully clothed the entire night.

Benny, always the gentleman, worried about sleeping in the same bed together. But one pull from Dean had them tangled in each other’s arms and falling asleep minutes later. It was maybe the best night of sleep Dean ever had, not counting that one hotel with the memory foam beds.

But those big bear arms Dean had daydreamed about were even better in real life, and Dean couldn’t help snuggling in a little closer when Benny shifted in his sleep, tightening his hold over Dean’s shoulders.

“Benny,” Dean mumbled into the fabric of Benny’s shirt. “Not sure what time it is. We have school today.”

A grumble escaped Benny’s throat and he pressed his lips against Dean’s hairline, beginning to stir awake. “Why go to school when you can sleep,” came the rumbly-sleep voice Dean could imagine getting used to hearing.

Dean huffed at that, “Cause it’s our senior year and GPA is everything. Come on ya’ big lug. You usually drive me ‘n Sam to school anyway.”

“Sure thing sugar,” Benny mumbled, turning over and pressing his face fully into the pillow. When he didn’t move again, Dean rolled onto his elbows and smacked Benny’s shoulder.

“So first it’s _cher_ , now its sugar. You gonna’ tell me it’s just another friendly endearment?”

“With a tongue like yours, it’s got more than friendly intentions,” Benny finally looked up, his blue eyes shining at him.

Dean blushed and shook his head, swinging his legs over the side of the bed to stretch. “Come on. Clock says seven, we gotta’ get moving.”

“Whatever you say, chief.”

“One of these days I’ll get a nickname for you too, Benny.”

Getting ready for the day was easier said than done. Dean hadn’t packed any clothes when he left, and he sure as hell wasn’t going back inside while John was there. Not yet anyway.

Benny ended up rummaging through his old clothes from a few years back. They were lucky they were nearly the same in height, but Benny was much broader than Dean, requiring some clothes from Benny’s scrawnier days.

“I ain’t scrawny!” Dean exclaimed when Benny commented and threw some options his way. Benny only laughed and sent him to the restroom.

The clothes were a little loose, but Dean liked them. They were typical to Benny’s usual style of long sleeves and dark colors. Dean felt naked without his layers of plaid, but he was determined to manage without them. The smell of Benny on him was calming anyway.

Sam was waiting on the curb when they pulled up in Benny’s truck. Sam’s eyes widened at the sight and he rushed to climb into the back.

“Dean! I was freaking out all night. You didn’t call or anything and I thought you might not come back!” He exclaimed, reaching forward to hug Dean awkwardly over the seat. Dean returned it and patted his little brother’s shoulder.

“Hey, it’s all good. Benny picked me up. I stayed at his house for the night and it all worked out,” Dean explained. Benny nodded and pulled away from corner.

“Were you alright by yourself?” Benny asked.

Sam rolled his eyes and leaned back in his seat. “Yeah. Dad was pissed though, Dean. You might not want to come back for a while, just until Dad cools off.”

Dean glanced warily at Benny, but he grinned and reached over to pat Dean on the shoulder. “Stay as long as you like,” he said kindly. “Trust me, I don’t mind at all.”

There was something in his smile that had Dean blushing as he looked away. He could see Sam in the rearview mirror, watching them curiously like they were his latest project that he needed to figure out. There was a knowing glint in his eyes that had Dean squirming.

He’d have to tell Sam that he and Benny were officially together. If their make out session before bed hadn’t sealed the deal, their breathless, “Boyfriends?” and “Boyfriends,” definitely had. Sam had a right to know, but he couldn’t breathe a word to John. Fortunately, Dean felt he wouldn’t have to worry about being ratted out by his brother.

Sam was slower to run into the school when they arrived. But Dean purposefully hung back, waiting until Sam was far enough away that Dean could grab Benny’s arm and ask, “Wait, I never really asked you, but are you comfortably out? Like, is it okay if I tell Sam about us?”

Benny chuckled and nodded. “It’s all fine with me, brother. I’m comfortable with whatever you are.”

Dean winced, “Well, I think I’d only like Sam to know. And even if we’re secretly dating or not, calling me ‘brother’ is a little freaky when every time I look at you I remember your tongue halfway down my throat.”

“What would ya’ like me to call you then?” Benny asked, dropping his voice low so no one around could hear. A shiver ran up Dean’s spine and he bit his lip.

“Sugar and _cher_ ’s okay. But you gotta’ tell me what it even means, otherwise that one goes too.”

Benny laughed and pushed his hands in his pockets, turning to walk toward the doors. Dean followed him closely, blushing again when he heard Benny say, “It basically means I love ya’, _dear_.”

“You’re a sap.”

“But I’m your sap now.”

“Shut up.”

Dean’s next mission was to track Sam down. He didn’t have enough time to get him alone till lunch, but it gave him enough time to imagine what he wanted to say.

Dean had left Benny to go with the rest of their friends. It gave him enough cover to sneak away and find his brother, and sure enough, Sam was walking with his friends to the cafeteria.

“Hey!” Dean called when he spotted him. “Sam!”

His brother looked up in surprise. He took a moment to say something to his friends before he hurried over to where Dean stood.

“Everything alright, Dean?” He asked, watching him worriedly.

Dean nodded firmly. “Yeah, everything’s good. I just figured I should tell you something about me and Benny…”

A massive grin spread across Sam’s face, and he instantly leaned in and whispered, “Wait, are you two actually _together_? Oh my God, I totally called it. I totally called it!”

“ _Shh!_ ” Dean exclaimed, pushing a finger to his lips. Sam only grinned and shook his head excitedly.

“I knew it,” he whispered again. “I won’t tell Dad, I promise. But damn Dean, you have to tell me everything!”

“Honestly, you’re worse than Charlie sometimes.”

Sam only beamed brighter and barreled Dean with a hug. “Seriously, I’m really happy for you Dean. I hope it works out between you guys.”

“Me too, Sammy,” Dean replied with a grin. “Me too.”

 

Dean ended up staying with Benny for the rest of the week before Sam gave the all clear to come home. Not that Dean or Benny minded. It gave them more time to hang out, make out, and go out whenever they wanted. They were officially dating, only going out together under the guise of friendship alone, but as soon as they were back at Benny’s it was full out romance again.

They didn’t have sex. Dean didn’t feel bad about it either. Benny wanted to take things slow, be the gentleman he was and make sure they took things when they were comfortable and ready. It didn’t stop them from getting off fully clothed, but they agreed to nothing explicit until the time was right. Dean could respect that, and as long as Benny was happy, Dean was happy.

Coming home was like a cold splash of water. John was angry and brooding, but he didn’t mention Benny to Dean’s face again. He could see it in John’s lingering glances, but there was never any confrontation.

Dean continued his work, he continued to see Benny whenever he could without drawing too much suspicion, and hung out with his friends and did schoolwork the rest of the time. Things were good again. Better than good. Dean wasn’t sure he’d ever been this happy. Things hadn’t even been this good with Aaron.

He learned everything he could about Benny. He learned about his childhood in Louisiana, and how he used to go sailing with his mother. Dean thought it was odd that she never came back home during the week Dean had stayed with Benny. But Benny always quickly covered with an explanation that she’d taken a trip and wouldn’t be home for a little while. Dean didn’t buy it, but he trusted Benny to tell him when he was ready.

Instead of talking about where his mother was, Benny talked about how his parents met through their mutual love for the sea, but lacked everything else in common. It resulted in their divorce and his father’s disappearance. They talked about Benny’s own love for the sea as well, but how his aspirations lay in cooking and business.

After tasting Benny’s cooking for an entire week, Dean was more than certain that Benny could succeed. Even if he didn’t, Dean wanted to eat Benny’s food for the rest of his life, if he could. The thought was a little scary at first, but after he tried Benny’s pie he was unashamedly head over heels.

They talked about Dean’s childhood too. Dean told Benny about his Mom, everything he remembered from the way she sang _Hey Jude_ to making him tomato rice soup when he was sick. He told Benny about the fire that took her away, and how John lost it for a long time and moved them everywhere across the country for years, only recently starting to settle down more often until his jobs couldn’t last anymore and they were forced to move again.

“I really hope you don’t move away again,” Benny said quietly after school one day. Dean nodded, taking a chance and holding Benny’s hand in his own.

“Me either,” he replied.

They talked about lighter things too, like the Impala and how much Dean loved her. He told Benny about how his Dad promised to give her to him when he graduated, but he secretly wondered if that wouldn’t happen now because of his bisexuality. And it certainly wasn’t going to happen now that he had a boyfriend too. But he kept those thoughts to himself and promised Benny to give him a ride in his baby sometime.

It took a few weeks, but Dean could tell John was getting suspicious again. The lingering glances were increasing, and John clearly wanted to say something about his extended periods of time outside of the house. But he never said anything. Dean started to find it harder to sleep at night, his thoughts driving him insane of what John was thinking, or if he knew. But most importantly, if John knew, what would he do?

Dean didn’t want to think about it, but it became the center of his thoughts, even beginning to distract him from school and work. It was finally when Dean dropped a box of goods and sent everything inside flying that he decided enough was enough. He couldn’t live like this.

He needed to talk to John and get it over with already.

He waited all night until John came home at his usual time. It was close to midnight, and Dean didn’t miss the look of surprise on John’s face at seeing his oldest son waiting for him on the couch.

Dean hadn’t been as good about staying up for John since their fight. He still helped out every once in a while, when his guilty conscious got too big to ignore and he felt like he couldn’t breathe until he went out there and got things ready. He may have been mad at his Dad, but he felt sick not being there for the man during the hardest part of his day.

And now, here he sat, and his Dad looked as surprised as Dean felt.

“Son?” John asked, fingering the keys in his hands nervously. He closed the door behind him and stepped toward Dean.

Dean glanced between his Dad and the other couch. John took the hint and took a seat. Dean was silently grateful for his Dad’s chosen sobriety for the night.

“Something on your mind?” John continued as he got comfortable. His tone was only mildly accusatory, his gaze intent and frustrated. Dean tried not to look at him too long.

“I… I’ve been thinking since our last fight,” Dean began. He’d been thinking over his words all night. Hell, he’d been thinking about it for weeks now. But with John, it was quickly slipping out the window and he desperately didn’t want to mess this up.

John raised his eyebrows but didn’t speak. He nodded for Dean to continue.

“I know you hate that I like guys and girls at the same time,” Dean said. “And I know you wish I was different. But, I just needed to know if you hate those things about me, or if you hate me because of them.”

John looked stricken, an expression Dean hadn’t anticipated on the older man’s face. “What do you mean?” John asked, eyes unwavering.

Dean shrugged. “I’ve been thinking about it for a while. I know you moved because of me and what I did with Aaron, and I just always wondered about it. I need to know if this… _thing_ is always going to stand between us, or if it could just be something minor. I don’t want it to be such a big deal, but whenever we fight about it, I feel like it’s not the _guy_ thing that you hate, but maybe… but maybe it’s just me.”

John stared at him. Dean stared at the floor. Silence warped the air between them and Dean tried not to let it get to him.

This was it. He wasn’t sure he had anything left. He said what was on his mind, he got the words out. Now it was in John’s court for whatever he wanted to do with it.

He’d said nothing but the truth. No matter what John said, he knew his father didn’t like him. Not the way he liked Sam anyway. Dean was never sure if it was because he looked like Mom or if it was because he liked whoever the hell he liked. But it never seemed to change the fact that he was never going to be good enough, and John always seemed determined to expose the fact.

Normally Dean would just keep his silence, avoid any possible confrontation with his father. But he was just too damn _tired_. And he didn’t want to hide anymore. He needed to know where he stood with his father. He needed to know if this was going to be his life, constantly trying to please someone who was never going to like him anyway. Even if that turned out to be the case, Dean didn’t care. He would continue exactly as he’d done before, continue to help his Dad and do everything he could for their family. He just needed to _know_.

Seconds stretched into minutes, and still John said nothing. Dean chanced a glance at his father and was shocked by what he saw.

John’s eyes were dark and shiny. He shook his head and ran a hand over his face tiredly. “Dean… I don’t hate you.”

“Okay,” Dean said simply. John cursed.

“Damnit, Dean,” he groaned and stood. He paced back and forth in front of him, wringing his hands together and looking for the entire world like he needed to punch something. Dean kept his gaze down and away. He didn’t want this to get any worse than it already was.

But John looked angry, and Dean just wished he knew _why_.

“Dean,” John tried again, “I don’t _hate_ you. I’ve never hated you. Why the hell would you think that?”

Dean looked up at him, unable to help the spike of anger at John’s disbelief. “Are you serious?” He asked. “All you’ve ever done is told me what a mistake I am. No matter what I do I can never make you happy. I’m a constant screw up. How can you _not_ hate me?” He was aware tears were beginning to cloud his vision, but he didn’t care. He was angry, and he had every damn reason to be. But he just wished John would just give him a simple ‘yes’ or ‘no’ and just leave Dean alone to deal with the fallout. But no, John was pretending to be oblivious? What the hell?

John looked pained. He shook his head repeatedly and crossed his arms.

“I’ve never hated you Dean. And I don’t hate you now. I just… Damnit Dean. I’d hoped it was a phase, I thought you were just doing it for attention or something. But I absolutely don’t _hate you_ for it!”

“I’m not doing it for attention,” Dean mumbled. “Never was.”

John sighed heavily and ran a hand through his hair. “I was really hoping it was.”

Dean flinched and looked down again, his old anger quickly slipping away again. He couldn’t bear to look at his Dad when he just looked so damn _sad_. And guilty. It only made Dean feel worse.

“Dean… look at me, please.”

He did as he was told and looked up. John looked guilty as hell. It was painful to look at. Dean didn’t want John’s pity. He wanted to move on.

“I don’t hate you. I’ll never hate you. And if you’re determined to like guys… I swear I’ll find a way to live with it. It doesn’t mean I’ll like it, but I can live with it. Is that what you want?”

Dean shrugged and wiped at his eyes, angry with himself for his emotions. “I just don’t want you to hate me,” he replied quietly.

John’s shoulders sagged. Tiredness etched his features, and Dean wanted nothing more than to bury himself under his bed and never come out again.

John put a hand on Dean’s shoulders, making him jump in surprise and look up at his father’s face.

“I don’t hate you, Dean,” John said firmly, with a conviction Dean desperately wanted to believe. “I told you, I don’t and I never will. I’ll… try and be understanding. If that’s the only way to prove it to you, I’ll figure out a way to do it. But I will do it Dean. You trust me?”

“Yeah,” Dean choked out. “I trust you.”

John nodded curtly and squeezed Dean shoulder. “Good. Now get to bed. You’re up too late for a school night anyway.”

Dean nodded and quickly stood, moving his way to the door that separated his and Sam’s room from the rest of the apartment.

“And Dean?” John called. Dean hesitated and looked back. “If tomorrow you tell me that you and Benny have been dating all this time… Make sure it’s while I’m sober.”

Dean swallowed and nodded. “Yes sir.” With that said, he closed the door behind him and crawled into bed.

It wasn’t perfect, and it was far from what Dean wanted. But it was something, and he had all night to figure out what it meant, and what he planned to do next.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Small note: I loosely based Dean and John's conversation after one I had with my own father last year. I only did it because I feel my Dad and John have enough things in common that this conversation might actually be realistic. So I hope it wasn't too OOC, but I never planned for John to be a villain of this story. Just a man who does love his sons, but is very, VERY bad at showing it, and will continue to be imperfect, but will at least be a little bit more aware of his faults so he can work on it. 
> 
> I hope that doesn't bother anyone, but again, I didn't feel right leaving John as the big villain here when he wasn't. (Leave that to Alastair. Let him burn.)
> 
> Anyway, hope you guys liked the chapter! Only one or two chapters left. (Hopefully one, but if it gets too long, then I'll split it to two.) See you guys tomorrow!


	10. Everything Has Changed (In the Best of Ways)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Benny are officially together and publicly out for the first time. The beginning of the rest of their lives? Perhaps?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys. This is the last chapter. I must say... I'm actually really happy with how it turned out. Also, I think this is the fastest I've ever written a fic in my life. While it probably wasn't my best work because of it, I feel it turned out really well.
> 
> Anyway, this is the end of the story. I hope you guys enjoyed it while it lasted, and I'm SO grateful that you all hung with me and left all the kudos and comments to keep me motivated, happy, and going strong. 
> 
> Seriously, I thank God for all of you guys. I hope you all continue on to find even better stories than this one and that you're shipping love will never die. (Seriously, it's the best wish I could think of for you guys. Here's praying it'll come true.)
> 
> Anyway, enough of my rambling. Enjoy Chapter 10!

It was Friday morning that Dean came and told Benny they didn’t have to keep their relationship a secret anymore. They could finally be out to the school.

To say Benny was thrilled was an understatement. He could now hold Dean’s hand whenever he wanted. He didn’t have to worry about what it looked like to lean over and whisper things in Dean’s ear that had him blushing and wishing they could hide out in the janitor’s closet for next period.

Everything was free reign now, but it raised one question that had Benny worried.

“What about your Dad?” He asked. Dean bit his lip and looked down, shuffling his feet. “Dean?”

Dean looked up and sighed heavily. “Talked with my Dad last night.”

Benny’s eyebrows rose. “Yeah? How’d it go?”

“Well, he didn’t kick me out,” Dean sighed. “He wasn’t exactly the happiest camper, but he says he’ll try and ‘get better.’ Starting with trying to be more ‘accepting’ of my love life.” He looked bitter about the choice words, but Benny selfishly focused on the last three words of his boyfriend’s sentence.

“So… it is a love life then?” Benny winked. Dean blushed and punched his arm before linking their hands together.

“Remember what I said about being sappy?”

“But I’m still your sap, _cher_.”

Dean rolled his eyes and dragged him down the hall to their first class. They ignored the mocking jeers from Alastair and his crew, but they thankfully kept their distance allowing Benny and Dean to slip by without incident.

Benny had never felt better. He took a few more extra liberties than he needed to with his newfound freedom, kissing Dean on the cheek before every class, holding his hand whenever he had the chance to in the halls. And when they told the gang over lunch, Charlie whopped so loud nearly every student in the room could hear it. And only after barely any encouragement, Benny leaned over and kissed Dean full on the lips. At first he was nervous, afraid he might have taken it a little too far, but Dean grabbed his coat and pulled him in for another, and Benny felt like a firework.

Benny was especially pleased to see that the reactions of their fellow classmates were either few or null. The few who did react to the change in their relationship, probably assuming they’d both been straight, were encouraging and found their affectionate displays cute. Dean would get flustered and proclaim there was nothing _cute_ about it. Benny’d kiss his temple right then and there, and all other attempts at denial died in his throat.

That evening was good too. Benny stayed long enough at Dean and Sam’s apartment to do homework and take Dean to the store, with the promise he’d be there to pick him up too. Dean was nearly late getting into his shift, and Benny wasn’t ashamed at all to take the blame for it.

His immediate next stop was to the care home to visit his Ma.’ He pulled into the parking lot whistling, and he reminded himself firmly that he was getting a little too far ahead of himself. His relationship with Dean was still new. They’d only been together for a few weeks, and they were only publically out for one day. It was too soon to tell how long their relationship would last, or what other kinds of challenges would come their way.

Benny was determined to survive everything, make it through with Dean’s hand firmly in his own. But he was a realist. And if Dean didn’t feel the same, or changed his mind later down the road, Benny didn’t want it to hit him too hard.

Yet still, his smile didn’t falter, and he walked through the front doors with a grin and a light in his eyes that wouldn’t be going away for a long while.

“Hey there, darlin,’” Benny said to the first nurse he saw, a short young woman called Meg. She was quite the fire breather when she wanted to be, but she was good with a lot of the patients, so Benny had no qualms against her. “Seen my Ma’ today?”

“That’d be Lenore Lafitte, right?” Meg asked, although by her tone, she didn’t have to ask. Most of the nurses were on a first name basis with Benny anyway. Meg was the only one who truly didn’t care for socializing unless it was business.

“That’d be her,” Benny replied. “Have you seen her anywhere?”

A strange look crossed Meg’s face, and Benny felt his heart drop. He’d seen a similar look on the other nurses every once in a while when he came to ask after his Ma.’ Looked like it was going to be another bad day to visit, then.

“She’s up in her room,” Meg said finally. “We’ve been trying to resettle her for the past hour, but you know how difficult it can be when the patient doesn’t even remember where they are.”

Benny nodded, good mood gone and suddenly somber. “I don’t suppose it’d do any good to let me see her then?” It was a long shot. He was almost always turned down at this point.

Meg shrugged apathetically. “Could make it easier, could make it harder. It’s best not to risk these kinds of things. She should be a bit better tomorrow, so you can come in then and see how she’s doing if you like?”

Benny nodded and offered a weak smile. “Sure thing. I’ll see you tomorrow darlin.’”

“I’m not your darling!” Meg called back, but Benny was already leaving.

He hated days like these. He’d seen his own fair share of forgetful moments. It was his mother, after all. But it made the entire thing no less difficult to deal with.

But he couldn’t afford the time to feel sorry for himself. He still had to pick up Dean from work and take him home. Dean always teased him about worrying too much, but he and Benny both knew that part of town wasn’t the safest. It was an unspoken agreement that neither wanted to stop the nightly drives anyway.

Benny went home and collapsed on the couch. TV wasn’t enough to curb his boredom, and he didn’t like watching it without someone next to him. Dean made it all more interesting, especially when he was watching those crazy Spanish shows or soap operas, or hell, even that damn medical drama that had very little medical and a lot more drama. But Dean’s face was a lot more interesting to watch, and Benny could do that all day.

Instead of thinking about his Ma’ at the home, TV, or Dean, Benny made himself useful. He made another round of the house, cleaning up different odds and ends that caught his attention, reorganized some of the furniture to make it more homey and comfortable. He even went and cooked and baked for an hour straight, anything to get his mind elsewhere.

By the time Dean’s shift ended at the store, Benny had made more food than he needed. He always figured he could send some of it home with Dean, but just because John was suddenly on the upswing of their relationship didn’t guarantee how the man would feel about ‘gifts from the boyfriend.’ He’d have to ask Dean about that.

Dean was waiting behind the glass doors of the building when Benny pulled up in his truck. Dean smiled at him and ran out, quickly hopping into the passenger seat and kissing Benny full on the lips.

“Do you have any idea how much I’ve wanted to do that since you dropped me off?” Dean growled, pressing another kiss to Benny’s scruffy jaw and neck. “Seriously. You’re gonna’ kill me.”

“Settle on down now,” Benny chuckled, Dean’s lips tickling parts of him he never realized were that sensitive. “I gotta’ get you home tonight. Preferably in one piece.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Dean grumbled, placing one last kiss on Benny’s lips before pulling back into his own seat. “But hey, it’s not like we have a set return time, you know?”

Benny smirked and nodded, revving the engine and pulling out of the parking lot. “I suppose not.”

They drove for a little while in silence. The only sound between them was the radio and Dean’s quiet humming along. Benny found his thoughts drifting yet again. With nothing at his hands but a steering wheel, it was hard to focus without his mind going elsewhere.

It took him a few minutes to realize Dean was watching him worriedly.

“Something on your mind, _cher_?” Benny asked with a forced grin. Dean frowned and shook his head.

“I could ask you the same thing,” he replied. “You okay?”

Benny sighed and looked back at the road. He figured he should just go ahead and tell him. This could very well be one of the challenges that might make Dean change his mind about their relationship. Benny didn’t want that, but he didn’t like secrets either. Besides, if they were together, Benny owed him some kind of explanation as to why his Ma’ was never around.

“Remember when I told you my Ma’ was away on a trip?” Benny said finally. Dean’s eyes widened.

“Wait, is she okay?” He asked, concern evident in his tone. Benny’s heart thrummed at the sound.

“Eh… not really,” he replied softly. “She’s in a care home.”

“Wait… what?” Dean looked confused. “Is she that old?”

Benny shook his head. “Nah. She’s still pretty young. Only in her late forties. It’s not just a care home, Dean. It’s… She’s in a memory care home.”

Dean went silent for a long moment. Benny cast a worried glance his way, but Dean looked deep in thought. Several emotions seemed to be warring across his face, and Benny wished he could just shake one out of him and get some kind of reaction. But he patiently waited until Dean finally came to whatever answer he was looking for. It wasn’t the one Benny was expecting.

“Oh… _damn_ Benny,” he sounded pained. “I’m sorry. How bad is it?”

Benny cast another anxious glance at him and drummed his fingers on the wall. “Just bad enough that it’s not exactly safe for her to stay at home. On her good days, it’s just lots of short term memory stuff, like if someone gave her a gift she won’t remember it. She’ll just think she found it somewhere. Basically she’ll read the same book every day and most days, it’s like reading it for the first time. On bad days, she can’t remember names of her family and friends, can’t remember where she is… you know. Bad days.”

Dean frowned deeply and reached out a hand, pulling one of Benny’s away from the steering wheel and lacing their fingers together. “I’m really sorry. That has to suck.”

“Yeah,” Benny choked out. He stared at the road. He wasn’t sure if he could keep his eyes clear if he looked at his boyfriend again, especially with that genuinely sorrowful expression on his face, like it really did hurt him. Like Dean was suffering _with_ him. It was almost too much.

Thankfully, Dean said nothing more, and they held hands the rest of the drive until they made it back to the apartment complex. Before Dean did anything else, he turned to look at Benny and asked, “Would you like me to stay over tonight?”

Benny was caught by surprise at the statement. He looked over at Dean, amazed at the fierce determination and meaningfulness in his boyfriend’s gaze. It was at that moment he realized their relationship might actually make it. They could actually do this. Where other relationships their age lasted a few months at best, Benny for once could see right into Dean and see something Benny had only seen in himself. A determination to make it last.

They could actually have a chance here. Something real and long lasting. Benny wanted to hold it close and never let it go.

Benny dared to be selfish for once. “You sure your Dad won’t mind?”

Dean shook his head, but then after a moment of thought, replied, “I don’t know. It’s not like it’s the first time I’ve stayed out with friends. As long as we don’t make too much of a habit of it, I don’t think it’ll be a problem.”

Benny bit the inside of his cheek before a smile could spread across his face. “And what about you? Would you mind?”

Dean smirked darkly. “Only if I get to wear your clothes again tomorrow.”

“You know, you still haven’t given back my last pair I lent ya.’” But he was smiling now, and Dean looked giddy. It was a strange sight to see, but not one Benny minded at all.

“Need to grab anything before we head back?” Benny finally asked. Dean grinned.

“Let me grab some PJ’s and tell Sam where I’m headed.”

That night as they were curled around each other in bed, Dean said quietly, “Do you think I could meet your Mom someday? I mean, if that’s okay?”

Benny’s smile was from ear to ear. He kissed Dean’s forehead and replied softly, “There’s nothing I’d love more.”

“She won’t mind?” Dean sounded nervous. Benny pulled back and looked Dean in the eye.

“Trust me. She’ll love you.”

Dean grinned. They didn’t fall asleep for another hour.

 

Dean did get to meet Benny’s Ma’ a few weeks later. It was a good day, and she was overjoyed to meet Dean. Even when she turned to Benny and said, “Why didn’t you tell me about him sooner,” Benny didn’t mind. He was just happy that she loved him.

His Ma’ and Dean got along well. They traded embarrassing stories about Benny, despite his protests, and they played a puzzle together. Benny had no idea Dean could put pieces together that fast, but he couldn’t say he was surprised. It was then that he finally got to brag about his boyfriend’s genius, his stories only made better by Dean’s squirming and blushing and never ending denials. When he kissed Dean’s cheek, his Ma’ looked so happy Benny almost wanted to cry.

They visited her together all the time after that. Dean was wonderful. He never let it get to him when he had to introduce himself to Lenore multiple times in the same week, and on one bad day, three times in the same afternoon. Afterward Dean would always hold Benny’s hand and tell him that he still thought she was wonderful, and that he was glad she gave him Benny.

Benny would take his turn to blush, and they’d drive home together. Either to Dean’s apartment, or to Benny’s house. It depended on the night.

When November came, Dean introduced Benny to his own mother. It was a nearly six hour drive, but they filled it with snacks, sodas, and tossed popcorn while singing along to the radio. Benny finally got the ride in the Impala that he was promised. Sam came with them, and John claimed he’d go up over the weekend following.

It was the anniversary of Mary Winchester’s death. The Winchester boys always made it their personal mission to make it back up to Lawrence, where it all began, and say hello to her final resting place.

While Sam walked back to the Impala, Benny and Dean stayed behind. Benny leaned down, set his flowers in place, and said, “Thank you for giving me Dean. Never though life could look this pretty.”

One tear escaped Dean’s face and Benny kissed it away. “Ready to go?” He asked. Dean nodded, and the drive back was filled with all the memories of Mary that Dean could remember. Some were met with disbelieving comments from Sam, but Dean was always adamant.

“Dude, I’m telling you,” Dean laughed and ducked a piece of flying popcorn from the back. “She and Dad took me to see the shooting range once. Mom was the best shot in the entire place. I kid you not.”

“You were four Dean, that’s hardly reliable evidence.”

“You sayin’ our Mom couldn’t hold her own?”

“Wha--?” And that resulted in Dean needing to pull over so they could clean up the resulting food fight.

The rest of the year passed beautifully. Dean and Benny’s relationship held strong through everything, and by the time of graduation, Benny knew without a doubt that Dean was the best thing to ever happen to him. And when they had sex for the first time that night; something to do with Dean’s claim of, “Hey, we’re literally adults now. Why don’t we make it _really_ official?”

Benny was embarrassed to say he’d been prepared for that moment for months. But he was glad for it, because it went off without a hitch.

That night as Dean lay tucked against his chest, his head fit perfectly under Benny’s chin, Benny decided he never wanted this to change. If he spent the rest of his life with Dean by his side, Benny could never be happier.

Four years and one wedding later, that dream was solidified. Everyone came to the ceremony, even John. He didn’t smile once, but there was a weak upward turn of his lips when he took them aside and told them Mary would have loved them getting hitched.

Lenore had been unable to come. Her Alzheimer’s had advanced to the point that she could barely move her limbs or speak, and the only way she could have come was for a volunteer to bring her. Unwilling to put that much strain on his mother, Benny and Dean decided they would visit the care home immediately after the wedding, before the honeymoon. She had some of her words together, enough to get across her joy at her son’s marriage. She lightly patted Dean’s hand, and Dean’s eyes had grown so big with unshed tears that Benny wanted to kiss them both right then and there.

His Ma’ passed away a few years later. It was peaceful, in her sleep. It was sad, but they’d been prepared for it to happen. Meg, his Ma’s caregiver in the end, even came to the funeral and offered her condolences.

Sam, who’d been going to Stanford with Jess (now his fiancé) even made it back out to South Dakota. Meg had hit on him continuously. It wasn’t until he cautiously explained he was engaged did she back off grudgingly. By the end of the after service they were chatting comfortably, so Benny was grateful for it. Dean also appeared visibly relieved. It didn’t help that he’d heard the stories of Meg’s man-eater status.

While Benny missed his Ma’ more than anything, Dean made the transition out of his grief easier. They still had their friends, too. Charlie, Garth, Kevin, and Cas were all still around, even if Kevin and Cas had gone away to study abroad or become the first Asian-American President, they still talked and Skyped from time to time. Charlie, Garth, and Benny even started their first business together, Benny’s dream apparently aligning with their friend’s as well.

The half bakery/flower shop called “Southern Comfort” was a hit, and Dean made sure to eat there for lunch every day after working at Singer’s Salvage all day. Charlie and Garth were a hit at flowers, but Charlie’s talents lay primarily in running the business website and her side business of LARP-ing event organization. Benny unashamedly signed Dean up for one of those events, and took immeasurable joy (and pictures) from Dean’s ‘hand-maiden’ outfit. He didn’t count on Dean dragging him into the battle, but he enjoyed being the knight to win the _hand-maiden_ ’s heart and hand, again.

Their lives weren’t exactly what either of them imagined it would be. But neither could deny they weren’t happy. It was better than either of them could have asked for. They took care of each other, loved each other. They had good jobs they both enjoyed. And when they checked their finances one day, they realized something extraordinary.

They were making enough money to add another addition to the family.

When they saw their baby girl for the first time, their lives were never the same. But fortunately for all three of them, it would always be different in the best of ways.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, thank you guys SO much. I really hope you liked the chapter and the story. Thank you for hanging with me this past week and keeping me going with your amazing and kind words. You're all wonderful, seriously. 
> 
> Have an awesome week guys! I hope to see you guys again sometime ;)

**Author's Note:**

> me: deanbennylife.tumblr.com


End file.
